Falling Off The Cliff
by sfscarlet
Summary: Justin is in New York and Brian is in Pittsburgh. Will Brian and Justin avoid Mount Kinney this time?
1. Chapter 1

_**biPrologue/b/i**_

Brian poured himself a second shot of Beam, drank it quickly and then grabbed the bottle, taking it to the living room. Sitting on the couch, he reviewed the last few hours and wondered for at least the twentieth time how he had allowed Justin to push his buttons. He was supposed to be the one in charge, the person who never let anyone under his skin, yet the blond had succeeded in doing just that, in getting in his space, his life and making him care and be vulnerable. Damn. Life wasn't supposed to be this complicated. i_Where did his mantra go? "I don't believe in love. I believe in fucking. It's honest, it's efficient. You get in and out with a maximum of pleasure and a minimum of bullshit. Love is something that straight people tell themselves they're in so they can get laid. And then they end up hurting each other because it was all based on lies to begin with." When did I start to care what Justin felt? The little shit has gone back to New York. Shit! This isn't over._ _We aren't over._/i

He picked up his phone, dialing the familiar number. "Mel, I need you to come over."

"Asshole. It's 10:00 at night."

"I need your services," he demanded, rubbing the space between his eyes, trying to still the headache that was threatening to make his night even more miserable then it already was.

"You can make an appointment just like anyone else."

"This is a fucking emergency."

"Is someone dying?" she asked, aggravated, knowing how everything was an emergency with Brian.

"No one is dying, but it… Shit! Will you just fucking come over?"

"I'll be there in 30 minutes and this better be good, Kinney."

Brian took another swig of the Beam and then returned it to the liquor cart, knowing that being drunk when Melanie arrived would not bode well for his request. Sniffing himself, he decided to take a shower while he waited for her to show up. Reeking like cigarettes and sex would not bode well either.

Turning on the water, he adjusted it to the warm temperature he enjoyed. Justin liked it hot and was always slightly pink when he got out of the shower. It made him even more appealing, the pink flush to his skin in slight incongruity to its alabaster color. Brian felt himself get hard thinking of Justin, his partner and whatever the fuck the blond was to him. i_Shit! Why is this all so fucking complicated? Justin should be worrying about his art, making the rounds in New York and meeting fabulous people, not harping on me like some little wife. Damn him and his stupid heterosexual visions of marriage."/i _ Brian finished his shower, not bothering to jerk off like he would normally do, too angry at Justin and the current situation to enjoy a quick release. i_Maybe I'll go to Babylon after Mel leaves./i_

Mel showed up and he let her into the loft.

"Make it fast, asshole. I have an early morning in court and I need to get some sleep." She laid her briefcase on the island as she sat on one of the bar stools.

"Did you file the Power of Attorney and Medical Proxy I had you write before Justin left for New York?"

"Of course. They are in your personal files at my office."

"Is there an alternate for either of those? Did I list anyone else in the papers?"

"No, but usually you don't. Do you need to list an alternate? What the fuck is going on, Kinney?"

"None of your fucking business!" he replied tersely, his headache starting to come back in full force.

"Listen, jerk. If I'm going to be your lawyer and hold these fucking papers, I need to know what is going on in that scheming head of yours so I can advise you properly. Now why don't you fucking tell me what the hell is going on. I would like to leave at a decent hour."

Brian went to the refrigerator grabbed a water and motioned to Melanie to see if she wanted one. Shaking her head in denial, he opened his water and took a deep drink of it.

"I made Justin my Power of Attorney and Medical Proxy when we were going to get married. It made sense and he agreed. Some things have come up and I just need to be sure that he still is on the papers."

"Brian," Mel asked softly, recognizing that this was a very serious matter and needing to know the entire situation. "Is… Has…"

"Shit! Fuck no! Look, I just needed to make sure he still has the legal powers in case he needs to act on them."

"Yes. Now is that all you need? I could have answered that on the phone. I'm leaving." She picked up her briefcase and walked toward the door.

"Good," Brian answered her and watched as she left.

Justin left the airport and grabbed a bus to take him to his apartment. He was glad that it was late, almost 1:00 am and his roommate Sean would most likely be asleep. He didn't think he would be able to talk about the disastrous weekend. He'd gone up to see Brian for the holiday weekend. Fourth of July was always one of his favorites; no real family obligations and no one spending hours cooking turkey, dressing and pies. Although any holiday food was always good, especially since he couldn't afford to eat a lot of really nice meals on his budget. Still, he had plans for the weekend and they included lots of fucking, sucking, rimming, and of course spending time with Brian, just hanging out. Instead, they had one of their biggest fights ever. Unlocking the door to his apartment, he didn't turn the light on, trying to be as quiet as possible, but Sean was waiting for him on the couch.

"Hey. You're home kind of late. Everything okay? I listened to your voice mail; sorry about not picking up but I was kind of busy."

Justin put down his bag, walked to the fridge and grabbed a beer, and then returned to sit on the couch.

"Fuck. My life is so fucked!"

"What's up? Want to talk about it?"

"I confronted him like we talked about, and he threw me out. I mean, I figured he'd be mad but… to throw me out…. I didn't expect that."

"That's harsh. What are you going to do?"

"I don't know, but I'm not giving up. I mean, I've been with Brian for over six years. "

"It's late. Why don't you sleep on it and think about it in the morning?"

Justin finished his beer and closed his eyes, thinking back to the beginning. i_Where did it all start to do so horribly wrong?/i_

TBC


	2. Chapter 2

_**biChapter 1/b/i**_

**b513 Ends/b**

Justin grabbed a taxi outside LaGuardia, a luxury that he could afford only because Brian insisted that his first days in New York shouldn't be filled with worrying about getting from place to place and setting up his new apartment. His heart clenched tightly when he thought of Brian, lying on the bed, the silent tear tracks on his cheeks that matched his own. Justin wiped away the new tears that threatened to fall and gave the cabbie the address of Daphne's friend's apartment.

"It's only time." That's what Brian had said. Justin wanted to believe that while time wouldn't stand still, he would use the time to improve his art and make a name for himself. He hoped when he was successful, he'd return to Pittsburgh and come to New York for shows. Justin wanted the best of both worlds, to be Brian's partner and a successful artist, and he was sure that the two ideas were not mutually exclusive.

**b6 Months Post-513/b**

"Hey." Justin sat on the couch of his apartment as he put his feet up on the coffee table.

"Hey." Brian smiled when he saw it was Justin calling.

"I hate my job. Why can't I be independently wealthy?"

"I could give you money." Brian smiled at the suggestion, knowing that Justin would never allow it.

"I won't take your money. I'm just saying…."

"So what did your illustrious boss do today to piss you off?" Brian asked as he hit 'save'.

"Oh you know, the usual. He scheduled me to close the evening shift and be there the next morning at 10:00. I need my beauty rest." Justin took a draw from his beer, enjoying the conversation even if he wasn't happy with the content.

"So find another job, problem solved."

"Briannnn. It took me almost six weeks to find this one, and I don't have that luxury. I need time to paint and be seen in New York. If I'm working all the time or too tired, what's the point?"

"When I was there three weeks ago, I saw your paintings and they were fabulous. You just want everything now. Life doesn't work that way."

"I know. It's just…"

"I'll be there in a few days and I'll make you forget all about your shitty job." Brian's cock grew hard at the mention of his upcoming visit.

"Sounds like a plan." The knock on the door brought Justin out of his reverie. "Gotta go. Delivery guy is here with my pizza. See you in a few days. Later."

"Of course the delivery guy is there with your pizza. I see where I rate. Later." Brian hung up his phone and clicked on the file in order to finish his work, when his phone rang again. "Shit. Who the fuck is calling me at 6:30 at night?" he said out loud to no one. "Kinney."

"Mr. Kinney, this is Dr. Houston's office. You missed your appointment last week and the doctor wanted me to remind you about the importance of your check ups. It's especially important for the first five years."

As the woman talked, he opened his calendar on his desktop and saw that he was scheduled for last Thursday. "When does he want me to come down?"

"He has an opening on Monday at 10:00 a.m."

Brian reviewed his calendar again and saw the time slot was open. "I'll be there."

"We'll give you a reminder call, Mr. Kinney."

_iShit. I can't believe I missed that appointment. Justin is going to kill me. He's always after me to take better care of myself./i_

The phone rang again a few minutes later. "Kinney," he answered sharply, perturbed to be interrupted again.

"Hey. I forgot to tell you about my meeting with Sam today. He thinks he can get me into another show in the late fall."

Brian closed down his calendar and listened to Justin's voice, allowing its familiar tones to calm his frazzled nerves. "That's great. You can tell me all about it tomorrow when I get there."

"Are we staying at the Belvedere again? I really liked that place."

"You are so spoiled, Justin. No, we are not staying at the Belvedere. We are staying at Kinnetik's apartment. I rented it for just this reason. I come to the city way too often to pay exorbitant hotel bills. I'm taking the early flight and should be there by 10:00 a.m. I do have a lunch meeting, but I intend to be in the apartment by 3:00 and in your ass by 3:15. My cock needs to bury itself inside that tight hole of yours."

"Why, Mr. Kinney. I do believe you just admitted to missing me. Is the earth shaking?"

"Twat!"

"You so love meeeeee."

Brian pushed his tongue into his cheek and suppressed a smile. "I'm busy, Justin. I really have to finish this project so I can catch my flight tomorrow."

Smiling at Brian's discomfiture, Justin answered, "Sure. I'll see you tomorrow."

Brian arrived at Justin's apartment at 2:30 and poured himself a shot of Beam. Sitting on the couch, he slowly sipped the drink, allowing its familiar burn to slide down his throat. He felt the effects shortly afterwards as the lunch he'd been served earlier was less than satisfactory, and he had barely eaten half of the meal. Loosening his tie, he leaned his head back and closed his eyes as he listened to the music of John Coltrane, taking in its sultry sounds.

Justin arrived about 3:15. Quietly making his way to Brian on the couch, he slipped in next to him, placing Brian's arm around his waist and leaning next to his partner as he enjoyed the sounds emitting from the speakers.

Brian woke with a start, taking a few minutes to orient himself to his surroundings, and smiling when he saw that Justin was tucked against him on the couch. Dual sensations of calm, feelings of being at home, and excitement washed over him as the hormones surged through his body at the feel of his partner. Leaning over, he gently sucked Justin's lower lip into his mouth and lapped the soft flesh, letting it go and then licked the corners of Justin's mouth. Soon Justin was returning the greeting.

"Bedroom now," Brian demanded as Justin started unbuttoning his shirt and caressing his firm olive skinned torso. They quickly made it to the bedroom, undressing as they went, leaving a trail of clothing on the floor. The sight of each other's naked bodies, cocks standing at attention, dripping with precum just from the presence of each other was an added bonus as neither man wanted to bother with foreplay. Brian reached into the familiar side drawer of the night stand, taking out the lube and condom. Squirting some lube on his finger, he quickly prepared Justin, getting his hole wet.

Justin gasped slightly at the cold intrusion, but the fullness from Brian's fingers made him wish for the real thing. "Now. Brian. Can't wait," Justin gasped.

Removing his fingers from Justin's hole, he wiped the excess lube on the sheets and gave the condom to Justin to place on his cock. The sound of the condom wrapper ripping was like music to their ears. Soon the two were entwined, one instead of two separate people, sharing their essence with each other. They both climaxed quickly, as was their habit the first time they had sex. As they lay recovering from their intense orgasms, Justin kissed Brian softly.

"Hey. Rough week?" Justin lay quietly for a moment, but when Brian didn't answer, he went to the kitchen, grabbed two bottles of water, and placed them on the nightstand. He proceeded to the bathroom, where he retrieved a wet washcloth and carefully wiped his partner. Opening the bottle of water, he took a drink and gave Brian his bottle.

Justin loved these quiet times with Brian, sharing their thoughts and feelings, although he knew better than to speak about feelings with Brian in earshot. It would send the man running for the hills faster than lightening. If someone had asked him six months ago if this is what he saw when he thought about his life, he would have been hard put to describe this vision. Back then, he wondered if he and Brian were strong enough to be apart, but he was thankful that they had both grown and had shown that they were invested in the relationship, non-conventional as it was. No one would have believed him if he'd said this is what he thought his life would be like. He enjoyed chatting with Brian about life and their plans for the weekend.

"Yeah," Brian agreed. "A few new campaigns and Leo is on vacation so I have to deal with his minions - they're all asses. I don't know how he gets any work done with Tom and Jerry at the helm."

Brian took another drink and continued. "Then Lindsay's on me about Gus. Seems he has developed the habit of playing with himself. She thinks I showed him what to do. I tried to tell her that all boys do that, but she and Mel have determined that hanging around me has more to do with his newfound past time. Lesbians..."

Justin laughed at the retelling of the story.

"Did you hear from the doctor? You were supposed to have a check up last week."

Brian got out of bed, making a big production of throwing the bottle into the recycling container, something Justin was adamant about. When Justin didn't get a response, he ran to Brian and placed his arms around his waist from behind. "Brian..." Brian could feel the shaking and prelude to "allergies" that Justin was prone to.

He turned around and removed Justin's arms from around his waist. "I forgot to go. Now tell your allergies to go away."

Justin wiped his wet eyes and glared at Brian. "YOU FORGOT TO GO. WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON? YOU FORGET TO PICK UP MILK AT THE GROCERY STORE. YOU FORGET TO DROP OFF YOUR DRY CLEANING. BUT HELL, BRIAN. YOU DON'T FORGET TO GO TO YOUR BI-ANNUAL CANCER SCREENING. WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?"

"Calm down. The nurse called me yesterday and I have an appointment for next week. Get off your high horse. If something has happened, two weeks aren't going to make a difference and since there is nothing wrong, two weeks still aren't going to make a difference." Brian leaned down and kissed Justin hard on the lips. "Now… I say we forget about work, my son, doctors and any other irritants in our lives and fuck."

Justin returned the kiss and walked back to the bed, seeing the reason in Brian's argument.

As Brian packed for the weekend, Justin sketched his favorite subject. Brian was so used to being immortalized on paper that he didn't stop his activities. "I'm coming home in two weeks. I'll probably stay for a few extra days, make it a long weekend. Can you take the time off?" Justin asked as he smudged his finger on the paper.

Brian placed his neatly folded shirt in the suitcase and walked over to Justin, leaning down and kissing him briefly on the lips. "It's possible. I might be convinced to spend some extra time with the artiste."

Waving him away, Justin said, "I'll let you know when I firm up my plans."

"Okay."

The two weeks flew by fast, and they didn't talk as often as they normally did. Justin was able to get away early and arrived at the loft to surprise Brian. He put his gear in the bedroom and was about to make some chicken for dinner, when the phone rang. He let it go to the answering machine as he absently took out the pots for dinner.

"Mr. Kinney. This is Dr. Houston's office, confirming your follow up appointment to review your test results. If you can't keep the appointment, please call our office to reschedule."

Justin almost dropped the pot he was holding. i_This isn't happening again./i_

TBC


	3. Chapter 3

_**biChapter 2/b/i**_

**b6 ½ Months Post-513/b**

Justin slid down the wall of the kitchen, dropping the pot he was holding and not flinching at the noise it made. Hugging his knees to his chest, he saw visions of Brian puking, laying in bed, so tired and fatigued he could barely move. He remembered the weeks of radiation and the shadow of a man that his partner was during the ordeal. He couldn't believe this was happening again.

"Justin! Honey, I'm home," Brian yelled as he slid the door closed. Somewhat surprised that he didn't hear a response from Justin, he thought he would find Justin on the bed, naked, lubed and eager. Walking to the bedroom, he found it empty, as was the bathroom. Glancing around the loft, he heard a soft noise coming from the kitchen and he found Justin sitting against the wall staring into space.

"Justin," he said as he bent down and touched the young man gently on the shoulder.

At his lover's touch, Justin broke his stare, and looked at his partner. "Brian?"

"What the fuck is going on?" Brian sat next to Justin on the floor of the kitchen, touching his face gently.

"The… the doc… call… and... "

Brian jumped up and went to the answering machine, pushing the play button to listen to the message. "Mr. Kinney. This is Dr. Houston's office, confirming your follow up appointment to review your test results. If you can't keep the appointment, please call our office to reschedule."

Brian walked back to the kitchen and held his hand out to Justin to help him up. Justin grabbed the hand and crushed his body to Brian as new tears threatened to fall. Brian returned the hug, making small soothing circles on Justin's back.

"Shh. They always make appointments to go over the results. Nothing to worry about," he explained as he silently felt the tension in his own body ramp up. i_I hate lying to Justin but he needs to worry about himself, not me. I can't believe this is happening again, but this time, I'll tell him; I won't keep him away./i_

"Really?" Justin pulled away and looked at Brian's face for confirmation. He wanted to believe, and allowed himself the sense of security that Brian's words offered.

"Yeah. Now let's fix dinner. I don't really want to go out tonight." They walked back to the kitchen, made a salad and heated up Debbie's lasagna.

As they sat down to dinner, Justin asked, "When's the next appointment? I'm here until Tuesday. I should go with you."

Frowning at the suggestion, Brian stated, "Look, Justin. I'm fine. It's an ordinary appointment and I don't need you to go with me. You're here to talk to about the AIDS fundraiser and to visit with your mom. Now, let's not talk about it again." Brian picked up his fork and moved the lasagna around his plate, pretending to eat the food. i_This better fucking b__**be**__/b nothing. I can't let Justin give his life up for me./i_

Justin recognized a brush off and realized that Brian was not going to relent on this subject, but hoped that he could get Brian to talk about it later.

Since their reunion was preempted by the unfortunate phone call from the doctor's office, Brian didn't get his welcome home fuck and he wanted to remedy the situation. "How 'bout we take a shower? You look like you could use one after the flight." Brian eyed Justin, taking in the small waist and the bubble butt he loved.

Justin followed Brian into the bedroom and wiggled his ass as he unbuttoned his jeans, and they dropped to the ground. "I think that's an excellent idea. I know how hard it is for you to reach your back. I could help you wash it." Justin smiled at Brian and enjoyed baiting the man.

"Twat." Brian lunged toward Justin, wrestling him toward the bed, where he held his arms over his head while he brusquely kissed his blond. i_Mine_. _All mine/i, _Brian thought_. _ Justin pushed his arms against Brian, trying for leverage, but Brian's strength prevented even the slightest movement. The feel of Justin under him provided an adrenaline rush. Brian slipped his hot tongue into Justin's open mouth. Brian tasted the red sauce from the lasagna, cigarettes, a hint of wine they had with dinner, along with the unique flavor that was Justin. Justin was the only one he kissed, deciding the rule Justin came up with early in their relationship still had merit. Justin's kiss was almost as good as fucking him.

Brian explored Justin's mouth with his tongue, alternating biting the lower flesh and sucking it in to play with its fullness. The lush, dark pink flesh was a sensual delight. Justin's unconscious moans increased Brian's lust. Justin returned the kiss as their tongues playfully dueled in each other's mouths. Brian licked a path from Justin's ear to the hollow of his neck and sucked gently on the side, careful not to give Justin a hickey. Brian savored the taste of his skin, slightly salty from their sex play.

Brian released Justin's arms and Justin raised them up, shaking them a little to get the blood flow back. Brian laughed. "I wasn't holding them that tight." He took Justin's arm and rubbed the feeling back in, and then did the same for the other arm. Justin grinned, knowing he was pulling Brian's heart strings at the thought of him being injured. Brian wanted more. Kissing Justin was exciting, but he needed to bury his cock in Justin's ass and couldn't do that when they were both clothed. He reached quickly for Justin's pants, shucking them off in one sharp pull, momentarily plopping Justin on the bed. "That's better. Now I can see all of your body." He grinned at his handiwork and Justin's momentary gush of breath.

"I'd like to see yours too," Justin said as he reached for Brian's pants.

Pushing Justin's hands away, he quickly divested his own clothing and discarded them over the side of the bed. "Better?"

"Much." Justin sat up, pulling Brian on top of him, needing to feel the weight of Brian's body. The feeling of protection and being cared for was strong when his partner was on top. Brian grabbed Justin's arms again, but this time moved them on either side of his head as he plundered the swollen lips and tasty mouth that was uniquely Justin.

Justin had a kissable mouth, one of the reasons that Brian only kissed him. If he could withstand the torture of endless hours of kissing without having his dick hurt beyond words, he would enjoy that activity almost as much as fucking.

As he kissed Justin, Brian wished that they were living in the same city. Their lust and enjoyment of each other's bodies had not faded in five plus years, a fact that amazed him, and he missed fucking him. Truth be told, and no one, not even Justin, would ever know Brian's thoughts on this subject, but he missed making love with Justin. He knew they had gone beyond lust many years ago, but he was certain they had passed that stage when he asked Justin to marry him. Regardless, their fucking was extremely satisfying on both an emotional and physical level.

Brian's cock rubbed against Justin's as both men enjoyed the delicious torture. Brian wanted to push into Justin, to join their bodies in lust-filled ecstasy, but he loved seeing Justin beg for release. Justin incoherent with need was a sight that Brian savored, and the knowledge that he knew Justin's body to that extent surprised him. Grabbing the lube without breaking the kiss, he flipped up the top as he squirted the cold liquid on his fingers and placed some on Justin's opening.

"Cold," Justin complained.

"It'll warm up," Brian assured him, as this was as much a part of their routine as the act itself.

Handing Justin the condom, he instructed, "Put it on me." Every time Brian heard himself speak those words, he was taken back to that first night they met. The innocent teenager was long ago replaced by this gorgeous man underneath him and he'd been there for the transformation. He helped shape the man, and a feeling of wonder and pride surged through him.

Justin tore the wrapper with his teeth and placed the barrier on Brian's cock, and watched as Brian smoothed lube over it.

"Put it in me," Justin urged as he spread his legs, the invitation for Brian to enter unspoken but clear.

Brian pushed in gently, listening for the familiar hiss of pain and gasp of pleasure that happened just afterward. Justin slapped Brian's thigh, their signal that he was ready for Brian to push further in. Slowly, he pushed in until he was balls to Justin's ass, and he sighed with a contentment he only felt with Justin. i_Home. This is where I need to be. Justin's body is my home./i _ He enjoyed the tightness around his cock, the unique smell that was Justin, and the feel of Justin's body under him. While he was the top, Justin controlled the movements and the pace. Appreciating the irony of the situation, Brian kissed Justin with gentle nips as he caressed his face.

Justin wrapped his legs around Brian, pulling him closer as he raised his pelvis. This position allowed Brian to hit Justin's prostate with every thrust.

"Yes! Faster!" Justin yelled as his body raced toward a certain finish. His breath became shallow as his entire focus was pushing toward orgasm.

Brian increased his speed and he quickly reached the point of no return. Brian's sweat dropped on Justin's face, but Justin was oblivious, too caught up in the intense sensations. The friction between their bodies and the assault on Justin's ass brought Justin to shoot moments before Brian fell over the cliff, shooting into the condom.

"That was hot. I really need that shower now." Brian didn't get up to move toward the shower though, despite his statement, content to lie with Justin.

Justin lay there and closed his eyes as he silently prayed that this was not the calm before the storm, but just a blip on the radar. When they woke an hour later, they showered and went to Babylon, changing their minds about staying in.

"Hi there, Baby. It's been ages since Brian let you out to play. Join me on the dance floor?"

"Sure, Em. Brian doesn't like to shake his tail feathers like some of us. I just love this song." Justin held out his hand to Em and Em led him onto the dance floor.

"How long is Justin in town for this time? I really want to sit down and talk to him about Rage,"

Michael asked Brian as he held his beer.

"Mikey… I'm not Justin's keeper. I'm sure he can make time to meet with you while he's here. Have you got a new villain to ensnare Rage?" Brian turned toward the bartender. "Chivas."

He sipped his drink as Mikey continued. "I'll never tell our secrets. You'll just have to buy the comic like the rest of our fans." Michael finished his beer, setting the empty on the bar. "Since Justin is occupied by Em, want to dance?" Michael asked hopefully.

"Sure. Justin could dance for hours. I might as well dance with you."

"You make it sound like a chore," Michael whined.

"Are we going to dance or are you going to revert to being fourteen again?"

Michael led Brian to the dance floor. After a few dances, Brian looked around for Justin. Finding him surrounded by five twinks, he pulled him away and dragged him toward the back room.

Justin didn't complain. A fuck from Brian was always better than dancing any day. Brian was quick and fast, and both men were back at the bar within fifteen minutes. They hung out for several hours and went home at 2:00 a.m.

On Monday morning, Justin got dressed and made a bagel for breakfast. "Brian, do you want me to make you a Guava drink?" he yelled from the kitchen.

"No. I want to go to the appointment on an empty stomach, in case they want to do some additional tests."

Walking out of the kitchen, Justin went into the bedroom as Brian was tying his tie. "I thought you said it was routine that the doctor went over the results. Why would you think there may be a need for more tests?" Justin looked accusingly into Brian's eyes, knowing the man's eyes were the window to the truth. Brian wouldn't look directly at Justin, conveniently looking off to the corner. "YOU FUCKING LIED TO ME! WHY BRIAN? I'M YOUR PARTNER."

"I didn't lie, just didn't tell you the whole truth." Brian sat on the bed and motioned for Justin to join him. "This is the second round of tests; the first were a little irregular and they wanted to repeat them," Brian admitted softly. i_I so do not want to have this conversation./i_

"Shit, Brian!" Justin pulled out his phone and scrolled down his contact list as he looked for the name of the gallery he was supposed to go to that morning.

Brian pulled his phone away to stop him. Taking his face in his hands, he said, "You need to keep this appointment, Justin. You've been talking about it all weekend, how important the fundraiser is, how there will be top critics there, even if it is for charity. The show has asked you to participate and you will not disappoint them." He leaned down and placed one small kiss on Justin's forehead, then continued. "Going to a doctor's appointment and waiting to hear some test results will not get you a solo show. Besides, if there is something that needs to be addressed, it will take time to set up - trust me - the doctors do not look at things like blood work as an emergency unless you're in danger of bleeding out in their office." Brian smirked at his clever words.

Justin kissed Brian gently on the lips and then wiped his own eyes. He held out his hand for his phone and placed it in his pocket. "Okay, but I don't like it. I'll have a hard time concentrating on the appointment and worrying about you."

Standing up and giving Justin a hand to help him off the bed, Brian smiled and put on his usual bravado. "I'm fabulous. Now get your bubble butt in gear so you won't be late to meet John Collier."

Justin had lost his appetite but managed to swallow a few more bites of his bagel, then threw the rest away. He knew better than to go to a meeting on an empty stomach; he didn't want to be embarrassed by its rumblings midway through a presentation. Brian joined him in the kitchen and read the business section as he watched Justin, somewhat amazed at the turn of events in his life. i_I'm 36 years old, have a partner, and a son, a "family"; when did this all happen?/i_ He kissed Justin. "Time to go. We don't want to be late. I'll drop you off at the gallery."

Justin smiled and returned the quick kiss. "Where is your appointment?"

"At the medical center but it's at 11:00; there's plenty of time to get there."

"Sure. That would be great. I hate taking the bus. I can come to Kinnetik when I'm finished, and tell you all about the meeting. We could do lunch." Justin eyed Brian's crotch, giving him an idea of what he had in mind.

"Twat. I think I might be able to do lunch with you," he answered with a smile on his face.

Walking into the gallery, Justin asked for John Collier.

"Mr. Taylor, come into my office. I'm excited to have you here. Would you like something to drink? Coffee, tea, water?" John took a seat behind a large mahogany desk, which set the stage for an audition.

"No. Thank you."

"Mr. Taylor, I received a call from Sam and he has me intrigued. We're so happy that you agreed to offer a painting for the fundraiser. He assured me that you've got a following in town and your painting will bring a nice sum."

"I'm originally from Pittsburgh and my family is still here. I have a special love for the area," Justin explained.

"Very good. Even though you're donating your work, I'd love to see some of your slides." He reached his hand over the desk toward Justin.

Justin unzipped his messenger bag and took out a small thumb drive. "Here you are. This is a sample of my most recent work as well as some of my older pieces. I'm hopeful that my donation will bring in a high amount at the auction," Justin said with a confidence, trying to hide his uncertainty.

John placed the thumb drive in his computer, opened the file and viewed the ten slides. He spent ten minutes reviewing the pictures, and made mmmm noises throughout the presentation. "These are very good, Mr. Taylor. I can't wait to see the piece you'll be donating. Do you have any idea how large it will be?"

Justin smiled his notorious smile, lighting up the room. "Do you have a size in mind? I've painted both small and large canvases." i_They really like my work. I can't believe this is happening; someone asked me to donate artwork for The AIDS Foundation./i_

"I was hoping for a painting at least 20x30 inches. Is that too large?" John shut down the program and handed Justin back his jump drive.

"No. That's fine. I'll have it ready by the show. I look forward to being a part of the event." Justin shook John's hand and talked about the show for a few minutes.

"Have the piece here by the Monday before the show. Does that work for you?"

"Absolutely. Thank you again and I look forward to supporting the AIDS Foundation." Justin walked out of the office and toward the bus stop, and then took the bus to Kinnetik.

Brian walked down the corridor of the medical building, a sense of foreboding filling his body, the adrenaline surging through his veins. i_There is nothing wrong. I feel wonderful/i._ Signing in at the front desk, he provided his insurance card and paid his co-pay. He sat in the chairs and attempted to read a magazine while he waited for his name to be called.

"Brian Kinney," a medical assistant announced.

He stood up and followed the assistant to the doctor's office. "Doctor will be with you in a few moments."

Luckily, Dr. Houston entered the room a few minutes later. He picked up Brian's chart and reviewed the medical records. "Brian, the blood work still came back abnormal."

_iShit. Shit. I do not have time for radiation again./i_ "What exactly does that mean?"

"We're not sure yet. There is an elevation in your white blood cell count, called leukocytosis, but the cancer markers are negative."

"It's not the cancer coming back?"

"Correct. The cancer is still in remission, but the blood work is abnormal."

"Doc, I'm not a medical person here. Tell me in layman's terms what you are saying."

"There is no sign of infection, you don't have obvious bruising, and deny unusual fatigue. The abnormalities could be caused by too much smoking, intense exercise, severe physical or emotions stress as well as infection. Sometimes post-cancer patients develop some blood abnormalities as a secondary condition of treatment."

"So you're saying there may not be anything wrong with me."

"Yes. Cancer treatment can be very stressful on the body. Are you experiencing any other stress?" Dr. Houston asked as he wrote some notes in the chart.

"I own my business. Of course, I have stress," Brian said as he reminded the doctor. i_Justin living in another city is also stressful, but I won't tell anyone./i_

"Try to get some stress relief. Take a weekend off every now and then. You need to take care of your body. I'd like to repeat the blood work again in two months and review. You are a little anemic. Be sure to eat some iron rich foods. Marissa will give you a list of good choices."

"Fine."

"Brian, it's very important that you keep the appointments for blood work. We want to watch you closely. If you develop any symptoms, fatigue, easy bruising, lack of appetite, you need to call the office as soon as possible."

Brian nodded his understanding.

"I'll have Marissa make you an appointment for your next blood draw." Dr. Houston opened the door and motioned with his hand for Brian to follow him out.

Brian made the appointment and left the building, then returned to Kinnetik. Justin had not arrived yet and Brian was glad. i_The_ t_wat is going to hound me about my health and keeping the damn appointments when he should be concentrating on his painting. Shit./i_ He listened to his voicemail messages, opened his email, and reviewed the latest written correspondence from Leo Brown. Opening the latest campaign proposal, he was deeply engrossed in revising the text when Justin walked into his office.

Brian looked up as Justin walked in, nodded in his direction and returned to his work.

Justin didn't want to disturb him so he sat on the white leather couch, took out his sketch book and started drawing Brian, his favorite subject.

Justin wanted to ask Brian about the appointment, but respected Brian's work. Since Brian had agreed to go to lunch with Justin, he knew they would talk about it at that time. After a little while, Justin took out his laptop to work on some pieces. He often used the laptop to conceptualize a piece before he painted it. This was much easier on his hand, and he was able to work longer than if he just painted the piece. When Justin's hand got tired using the computer as well, he put it away and walked over to Brian.

"Hey," Justin said as he hugged him from behind. "Your partner is hungry." Justin slid his hand down Brian's chest to show him that he was hungry in more ways than one.

"I promised I would feed you. Let me save the file and we will go to the diner for lunch, and then head back to the Loft for other nourishment."

Justin picked up his messenger bag and headed out to the lobby. "Hi Cynthia. I'm stealing your boss for lunch. He'll be back in a few hours."

Smiling, Cynthia replied, "Good. He needs to eat. When you're not around, I have a hard time getting him to take a break."

Justin filed that information for later discussion, but he was not happy to hear it. Soon, Brian joined him in the lobby.

Cynthia piped up, "Have a good lunch," she said and smiled at the two men.

Brian rolled his eyes and placed his hand on Justin's back, and led him out the door and to the diner. "Order me a salad with turkey and cheese, dressing on the side." He walked to the men's room and left Justin to find their booth.

Debbie came over a few seconds later. "Sunshine. I didn't think you'd still be here."

"I had a meeting with John Collier from the Forum Gallery this morning. He wanted to see some of my work for the AIDS Fundraiser."

Smacking her gum, Debbie paused and said, "That's wonderful. Our very own Sunshine is donating to such a worthwhile cause. Let me know when so I can buy a ticket. So what will you have today?"

"I'll have a double burger with cheese, fries and a chocolate milk shake, and a turkey salad with dressing on the side for Brian."

"Coming right up." Debbie walked away.

Brian returned to the table. "So how was your meeting with the illustrious Mr. Collier? Did he ooh and ahhh over your masterpieces?"

"He seemed impressed. I still can't believe they asked me to donate for the auction."

"Of course. You're very talented, Justin. When is this soiree?"

"Four months away. I'm so excited." Justin took a drink of the milkshake that Debbie had delivered. "What did the doctor say?'

Brian picked up his napkin and shook it out, and made a big production of putting it on his lap. "The blood work is still not right, but the cancer is not back," he said, trying to keep his voice neutral.

As soon as Brian said the words "not right," Justin felt clammy and a chill ran over his body at the thought of Brian being sick again, but he kept his calm. "So what do they think is wrong? Do you have to go for more tests? I knew I should have gone with you."

"Doc isn't sure that anything is wrong. He said that sometimes this kind of thing happens as a reaction to the radiation. He said I was a little anemic and I should eat lots of protein. Guess I'll have to give you lots of blow jobs," Brian teased, tongue-in-cheek.

"I remember studying about anemia in biology. You need to eat red meat, leafy green vegetables, and beans. That kind of stuff."

"Of course you learned about it in school, my walking PSA. I told you I was fine, now can we drop the subject?"

The food arrived and Justin ate like he hadn't eaten in days. "Slow down, Justin. I know you ate breakfast."

Justin eyed Brian as he sat across from him, and admired the impeccable grey suit with accompanying burgundy tie. Licking his lips in a seductive manner, he stated, "I'm hungry and not just for food."

"I like the way you think. Let's get out of here." Brian pushed his half-eaten salad away.

"Uh uh, no you don't. The doctor said you need to eat. We're going to the Steak House on the corner tonight for dinner so you can have some red meat. Now finish your salad and we'll go to the Loft. I promise I will make it worth your while." Justin sucked in his milkshake, slurping the drink and teasing his partner.

"You little shit." Brian felt his pants tighten from his growing erection, but he finished his salad and then paid the bill. Placing his hand on Justin's lower back, he led him out of the diner and to the 'Vette so they could make a quick drive to the Loft.

Brian unlocked the Loft door and disarmed the alarm. Justin quickly made his way to the bedroom, unbuttoning his shirt and unfastening his pants as he walked. Brian joined him a few moments later. "This will have to be quick. I really have to get back to the office," Brian said as he began pumping Justin's erection. Justin reached between himself and Brian and pumped his dick as well. They kissed, heating up their bodies.

Brian liked quick and dirty sex; the thrill of getting in and out with a maximum amount of pleasure and a minimum amount of bullshit appealed to his sybaritic nature. Justin broke the kiss and crawled up the bed, grabbing the lube from the nightstand. He was on all fours, ass facing Brian, opening and closing his pucker.

"Come on. You said you need to get back to the office," Justin said as he squirted some lube on his fingers. Justin took the slickened digits and shoved them in his ass. Brian moaned in appreciation.

Brian's breathing increased at the sight in front of him. He loved it when Justin fucked himself on his own fingers. There was something truly wanton about a man prepping himself for penetration, and he loved seeing Justin eagerly prepare for his cock. Brian grabbed a condom from his pocket and placed it on his dick.

Spreading Justin's ass cheeks, he pushed inside the tight channel, relishing the feel of the grip around his cock. It was amazing that after all the times he fucked Justin that he was still so tight. His heart raced with adrenaline and arousal. All he could hear in his head was "fuck Justin, fuck Justin" and that was all he wanted to do: fuck Justin into the mattress, feel his sweet ass as it was filled with his cock. He wanted to hear Justin's mewl as he pumped deeply into him, hitting his prostate. He wanted to feel as Justin's ass clamped around his cock as he orgasmed. His brain was on overload as his senses were assaulted. He felt his own body tingling as it rode the wave of arousal and released its energy.

Brian was wet with sweat and he smelled of sex. "Shit! Now I have to take a shower. I can't exactly go meet with Leo Brown smelling like cum."

"I like the way you smell." Justin jumped off the bed and walked to the shower, then turned it on. "I'll join you."

"Twat. Just a shower. I really do need to get back."

Justin listened and enjoyed a shower, sans blow job or more sex. Brian showered quickly and redressed. "I'll be home by 7:00," Brian said and kissed him, and then smacked him on the ass.

"Okay. I think I'll sketch some more and maybe take a nap. Someone kept me up all night," Justin said and smiled as he tried to hide the yawn that was forcing its way out.

"Later." Brian rolled his eyes and walked out, returning to Kinnetik.

Justin waited until he was sure that Brian was gone, and he booted up his computer and started a search on Web MD for blood work, anemia and post cancer treatment. He still had questions and called Dr. Houston. He knew Brian had made him his medical power of attorney when they were going to get married and reasoned that it was still valid.

"I'd like to leave a message for Dr. Houston."

"….This is Justin Taylor, partner of Brian Kinney. Mr. Kinney was there this morning for a follow up visit. I'd like to talk to Dr. Houston about his results."

"… I'll hold. Thank you." While Justin was waiting for the doctor, he went to the refrigerator and poured himself a glass of milk and took out the Oreos, placing five on a plate. "Hello Dr. Houston. My name is Justin Taylor and I'm Brian Kinney's partner."

Dr. Houston flipped through the chart and saw a release to talk to Mr. Taylor. "What can I do for you today?"

"I know Brian saw you this morning but he is not very forthcoming with information. Is he really okay?" Justin asked nervously, and hoped that Brian was telling the whole truth.

"He's had some abnormal blood work, but we just need to watch it. He should get tested again in two months. He has an appointment and if you could help him remember to keep it, that would go a long way."

"I see. And he said something about anemia."

"Yes. Brian doesn't eat right. I know he's worried about his appearance, but he needs to eat healthy to fight the anemia. It can really run a person down."

"Thank you for your assistance. I'd appreciate if you didn't say anything to Brian that I called."

"My only concern is Brian's health. Do you have any other questions?"

"No, thank you for your time."

Justin hung up the phone and leaned back against the couch cushions as he munched on an Oreo. i_He really is okay. For once, he told me the truth./i_

TBC


	4. Chapter 4

**biChapter 3/b/i**

Justin returned to New York the next day. Soon he was caught up in the business of painting and working and working and painting, and occasionally spending a brief afternoon with his roommate, Sean. Smiling, he thought back to how he came to live with Sean.

**b2 Months Post-513/b**

Justin met Sean, a talented artist, when he attended an exhibit at MOMA.They struck up a conversation when both men were admiring a painting, and Sean took him under his wing. Sean had been in New York for five years and was making a living from his art, photography. He took Justin to galleries, even those small and remote, explaining that "any exposure was good exposure". Everywhere they went, Sean introduced Justin to the owner and to as many critics and patrons that he knew. It was almost a game for them to see how many people Sean would run into on any given outing.

Justin and Sean met for coffee at least once a week, usually at an outdoor café, since Justin was still fascinated by the people in New York. They hugged when they saw each other approaching the café. While they waited for a table, Justin said, "You've been a godsend, Sean. Ever think about why you meet people or how they've changed your life?" Justin asked as he scrunched his mouth. He'd been thinking about their friendship and the friendships of the gang at home, as he was missing everyone and fighting a small bout of homesickness.

Pulling Justin in for a quick hug, Sean smiled at him and answered, "Sometimes, but I don't try to overanalyze things. You remind me of myself a few years ago, eager, talented but a little overwhelmed by the scene. My friend, John, helped me and all he asked in return was for me to help another fellow artist. I like your work; your raw talent is just waiting to be discovered by the public. Your work is very different than mine and we're really not in competition." Sean steered them to an outdoor table at their destination. "Now, we have a lovely afternoon to enjoy the sights of New York. Are you going to question me all afternoon, or are you going to enjoy your coffee and look at New York for new inspiration?" Sean smiled at his friend, basking in the sunshine as much as his friendship.

Sheepishly, Justin replied, "Thanks. I hope I won't disappoint you."

**b7 Months Post-513/b**

Justin rolled over in bed, stretching his torso as he tried to get all the kinks out of his body. It was a Sunday, the first free day he'd had since returning from Pittsburgh, and he hadn't planned anything. The familiar beep of his phone announcing a text message made him stop his stretching and reach for his phone. Looking at the bedside table, he realized it was too early for Brian to be texting. i_He probably is still sleeping off his Saturday night buzz. Besides, Brian is too lazy to text; he just calls. It would be a great surprise if it were him; I miss him so much._/i

"Got the morning free, want to join me for breakfast at the diner on 17th?"

Seeing the text was from Sean, he smiled as he hadn't spent a lot of time with his friend in several weeks. He quickly texted back, "Sure. Give me an hour."

Justin met Sean at the diner on 17th. As he walked in, he felt like he'd been transported back to Pittsburgh and the Liberty Diner; the place had the same small green booths, the chalkboard menu and even the rainbow flag outside. He wondered if all diners had an implicit code for decorating. Every time the bell would ring or the waitress would come to their table, Justin expected to see one of the gang or Debbie, and was slightly taken aback when he didn't see the familiar faces.

"You seem a million miles away. Anything wrong?" Sean asked as he motioned for the waitress to refill his cup.

"No. This place just reminds me of the Liberty Diner, a place from home. I probably would call that my home away from home; I spent more time there then I did anywhere else the last few years."

Recognizing a look of nostalgia on Justin's face, he asked, "Did you go there a lot?"

Laughing at the question, he answered, "Well I worked there, and when I wasn't working there, I was hanging out with my Liberty Avenue friends. I got my first job there because I had to pay back Brian the money I charged on his credit card."

"Sounds like an interesting story. Care to share?"

"Pretty pathetic, really. He got mad at me because I forgot to set the alarm and his place got robbed. I didn't have any place to live – I was kicked out of my parent's home for being gay. And anyway… Brian was livid, kicked me out, so I took his credit card and bought a ticket to New York, and then used it to stay in the Belvedere. He came after me." Justin stopped his story as visions of their reunion sex flashed across his mind. i_That was hot. There is something to be said for 'hotel sex', but sex with Brian is always hot./i _"He came after me, brought me back to the Pitts and informed me I had to pay back all his money. He got me the job at the diner and I went to live with the head waitress there."

Sean nodded at the fascinating story his friend was sharing. "He came after you. That must have meant a lot."

"Actually, my friend Daphne guilted him into coming. She and Debbie did."

"Tell me about Daphne. And who is Debbie?"

"Daphe is my best friend. I've known her since kindergarten. You know, she's the one who would listen to all my life's troubles and tell me that I was always right," Justin explained as he felt a longing for his friend. "Debbie… well, she's my surrogate mom. I moved in with her when I came back from New York. She's the head waitress at the Liberty Diner. She's sort of the 'mom' to all the guys. When she found out I'd run away, she informed Brian that he better go after me and that nothing better have happened to me while I was gone. She made it very clear that she held him personally responsible for my safety."

"Is she Brian's mom?"

Justin laughed. "Hardly. Brian has little to do with his real mom, but he considers Deb his mother in all the ways that count. She is probably one of the few people in this world whose opinion he values. He wouldn't offend Deb if he knows what's good for him." Justin thought back to the time after Vic's death when Brian and Debbie weren't talking. Brian was dealing with the cancer and with the loss of his mentor and friend, Vic. That was a hard time for him. He wished things had been easier for him, but he knew that what made Brian into 'Brian 'Fucking' Kinney was his belief that he didn't need anyone. i_I guess he still feels that way./i_

"You've lived an exciting life. My existence has been pretty boring."

Justin took a bite of his pancakes and then poured some additional syrup on them. "Tell me about how you got to New York?"

"I worked in an art store for about a year after graduation and then I won a local art contest. I took the money and bought a ticket for New York. I had a cousin who lived here and he let me stay with him. I met Peter, my agent, the first week and the rest is history. Pretty boring, like I said."

Justin looked at the clock on the wall and noticed it was 2:00 p.m. "Sorry, but this is my first day off in forever and I really should get some stuff done. This was fun. Thanks." Justin took out some money and laid it on the table for his portion of the bill. He gave Sean a kiss on the cheek. "Later."

"Catch ya later."

**b7 ½ Months Post-513/b**

Justin left his waiter job and walked home. He missed Brian and was looking forward to seeing him over the weekend. It had been a month since he'd been home and he was excited. After changing out of his work clothes, he lay on his bed and dialed 'one' for Brian.

Brian answered immediately. "Hey."

"Hey. I'm fucking exhausted. I'm so excited about having two days off. I plan on spending a lot of time in bed."

Laughing at Justin's choice of words, Brian said, "Well I hope you plan on spending them awake and fucking. I'm not coming to New York to watch you sleep, twat!"

"I think I can manage to stay awake some of the time, but you'll have to make it worth my while."

"I'm sure something can be worked out," Brian said as he envisioned his cock deep in Justin's ass. "Get some sleep. I'll see you tomorrow. Later."

"Later." Justin closed his eyes without taking a shower and slept the night through.

**b8 Months Post-513/b**

Six months after they met, Sean texted him: "I need your help." Justin didn't ask what he needed; he caught the first bus and arrived an hour later.

"Thanks for coming."

"What's wrong? You put 911 in front of the test." Justin hugged Sean briefly.

"My roommate bailed on me about a month ago and I thought I had a new one lined up, but the guy can't come up with the rent money. I told my super and he said I have until the end of the week to find a new roommate or I'm homeless."

"That sucks."

"We've become pretty good friends in the last few months and I was hoping that maybe you'd be interested in moving in. Since you've never been here, I figured showing you the place was a better sell that just asking you." Sean waved his arm in front of his body, showing the apartment.

Justin sat down on the sofa and looked around the apartment. It was sparsely furnished but it was pretty clean. i_Much cleaner than the shit hole I moved into right before I agreed to marry Brian./i_ The place had two bedrooms, so he'd have his own space. Brian would be thrilled as it was a much nicer place than his current apartment. _Sean and I get along too. That's a bonus. I've been renting month to month, so that's not a problem. I really don't see a downside to this._

"Sure. I've lived with lots of people in the past. It's getting kind of getting old having my bed in a wall and no privacy. Daphne's friend, Karen, is nice but I think she'd love to have me gone." i_I know she'll be thrilled as she has that new boyfriend and he's always over./i _ "When can I move in?"

"When's your current lease up? You said that you've just been paying Karen but it was never meant to be permanent. Do you think she'll give you any trouble?"

"No. I think she'll be thrilled. I'll talk to her this afternoon; she's usually home on Tuesdays so I'll let you know tonight. Know anybody who has a truck? I don't relish the idea of taking my stuff on the subway."

"Peter, my agent, has a truck. I'm sure he'd let me borrow it for a few hours. Do you have a lot of gear?"

"Not really, just some clothing and knick knacks; maybe three boxes worth of shit. I've moved so many times that I don't accumulate a lot. Most of what I own is paint, canvas and brushes and those stay at the studio."

"Great. Sorry, but I got to work. I think this will work out well for both of us."

"Me too." And Justin now had a new roommate.

Sean had helped him survive in the mean city that was New York. He'd shown him the ropes and they had become good friends, spending time in coffee shops as well as clubs. They talked about Brian, but sometimes Sean wondered about the sanity of their relationship.

**b9 Months Post-513/b**

Justin flipped his phone closed and shoved it in his pocket. He wasn't painting for shit and he knew Sam had been right. After walking the three flights of stairs to their apartment, he unlocked the door and slammed it shut, wishing that they had a sliding door like the loft so that he wouldn't fear that he'd damage the door as he let out his frustrations.

Sean was startled at the noise and turned to look at Justin.

"Hey, man. I want that security deposit intact when I leave. Why don't you sit down and I'll grab us a few cold ones."

Startled to see anyone in the apartment, he jumped a little at the sound of Sean's voice. "Sorry, I didn't think you'd be home." Justin threw his keys on the table and plopped down on the couch, sinking into the cushions and rubbing his face with his hands.

"Here." Sean handed him a beer after popping the top. "Drink this and tell me what has you all fired up."

Justin took several draws from the beer, placing it on the table in front of the couch and turned toward his friend. "Sam came by today to look at the new pieces I'm painting. I've got the piece for the AIDS fundraiser and the small show at the gallery on Fourth. He wasn't happy with them."

"So that has you almost unhinging our front door?"

"He said they were for shit! His words, not mine."

"Inspiration isn't something we can turn on and off, Justin. You know that."

"I know. But this time, I need it on and Sam knows that. He understands how important this show is for me and wants it to go well. Of course, so do I."

"So what's the problem with your inspiration?"

"I'm worried about Brian. The last time I was home, he had some abnormal blood work and has to have it repeated in a few months. I'm terrified cancer will come back or something worse and then I'll lose him. And if I lose him, I'll never forgive myself for being so selfish and spending this time in New York when I could have been with him.

"He was just here. He seemed fine," Sean said, remembering how the two men barely left Justin's room. "Have you talked to him about it?" Sean asked, the request seeming reasonable to him.

Justin laughed and looked at his roommate. "Talking to his seven year old son, Gus would be easier. He at least can be reasoned with, but his father… Well, let's just say there is the Kinney way and then there is the Kinney way."

"So, unreasonable?"

"Don't get me wrong, Brian is the most wonderful partner a man could have, but he has some crazy mixed up ideas about certain things, and his ideas about me are a little one track. He thinks I should go to Hollywood instead of being with him on a 300 plus mile bike ride, so I go to Hollywood. He thinks I should be in New York to paint, so I get shoved to New York. Brian is the authority on everything." Justin sighed as he listened to his own words describing Brian. "That didn't come out right. He does listen to me, even lets me help him. Like when he had cancer. But he is very stubborn." i_Just talking about him makes me miss him. I'm so fucked./i_

"Okay. I'll trust that you know your partner; after all you've been with him for seven years."

"Yeah. Seven years. I met him when I was 17. That seems like a lifetime ago."

"So back to the discussion at hand. What do you want to do?"

"I need to talk to him."

"So talk. The phone is in your pocket," Sean said, as if this wasn't obvious.

"This isn't a conversation that I can have over the phone."

"Okay. So what do you want to do?" Sean gently prodded his roommate, hoping that Justin would come to a decision soon.

"I guess I need to go to Pittsburgh. He gave me an open-ended ticket so I can fly anytime I want."

Sean whistled at that piece of information. "Wow! I knew he had money, but you didn't tell me he was rich."

"I guess I don't think about it. Brian can be a snob when it comes to clothes and being pampered, but he doesn't make a big deal of his money and neither do I. I will say that it comes in handy at times - like this."

"So pack your bag and go to Pittsburgh. What are you so hung up on? It's not the plane fare."

"He's not going to like what I have to say," Justin admitted. i_He'll think I'm a silly little faggot - either he'll kick me out on my ass or laugh at me - not sure which would be worse./i_

"Okay. He's not going to like it, but will he listen?" Sean said as he reached out his hand to touch Justin's shoulder.

"I'm not sure. I just know I can't keep going like this. If I don't get my head on straight, I'll never be able to get the pieces done in time. "

"If you can't paint, then there's no reason for you to be in New York."

Justin grabbed his beer from the table, drinking the remainder in one gulp. "It will be good to see him. I've missed him. Maybe you're right. I should just go."

"You should go."

"Yes. Sean, you're so smart. I can't wait to see him, even if he isn't going to like what I have to say." Justin went into his bedroom, grabbed a small bag, and filled it with a weekend's worth of clothing. He took the subway to La Guardia, and caught the first Liberty Air flight to Pittsburgh.

After taking a bus to Liberty Avenue, he walked to Brian's loft. He opened the door and dropped his bag to the side. It was too early for Brian to be home, so he took a shower and changed out of his clothes. He took a nap while he waited.

When Brian opened the loft door and saw Justin's bag on the side, he was surprised but happy to see him. Justin had sounded a little down the last few days and he had tried to figure out how he could swing a visit to New York, but didn't think it was possible. He had a big campaign deadline and had planned to work on it this weekend, so he could leave next weekend open. Seeing Justin lying on the bed, he smiled and sat down beside him. Brian always loved to watch Justin sleep and today was no different. As he looked at him, he expected to see the familiar peaceful expression, but instead Brian saw frowning.

"Why are you in town? I didn't think I'd see you for a few weeks," Brian said as he kissed Justin on the lips.

"I needed to see you." Justin rubbed his eyes and sat up a little to return the kiss.

"Is something wrong? Did something happen?" Brian spoke calmly but inside he felt the adrenaline rushing through him.

Justin's stomach chose that moment to growl very loudly. He looked at Brian sheepishly and shrugged.

"I see we need to feed the beast before anything else. Let me change and you order some Thai for us."

Justin walked into the living room, found the menus for their favorite restaurant and called in an order. The buzzer announcing the delivery man came as Brian finished his shower. After paying for the food, he set out plates and silverware as he mulled over his speech.

Brian saw the set table and raised his eyebrows in an unspoken question, but chose to not ask Justin. "I'm starving. I don't think I've eaten anything since breakfast."

Justin looked up from his food in agitation, but tried to keep his voice neutral. Still the PSA, he said, "You know you need to eat right – you're borderline anemic".

"Justinnnn," Brian warned, the frown on his face deepening at Justin's chastisement.

They ate in silence for a few minutes and Brian put down his fork. "What the fuck is wrong? You're never this quiet, except when your mouth is filled with my cock. Tell me why you are here instead of painting in New York."

"I want to come home," Justin said softly.

TBC


	5. Chapter 5

**biChapter 4/b/i**

**b9 Months Post-513/b**

"I want to move back," Justin announced. His eyes stared at his plate and not at Brian, as he knew that if he looked at Brian it would be his downfall.

"What the fuck did you just say?" Brian looked at Justin, certain he'd heard him but wanted to make sure.

"I want to move back," Justin repeated the statement.

"Enlighten me, Justin! So you just woke up this morning and decided to hop on a plane and announce that you are coming back to the Pitts?" He was trying to conceal the anger in his voice, but was not totally successful. He stood up, walked to the window and looked out at the street below.

"Sam came to see me yesterday." Justin looked toward Brian as he stood at the window, willing him to at least listen to him.

Brian looked at him, but waited for Justin to continue.

"He looked at the new paintings and pretty much said they were for shit. And he's right, Brian, they are boring and…"

"And…" Brian listened, but was quiet.

"I'm not painting well. I'm not sleeping at night. I'm just too worried about you. You're my partner and I wouldn't forgive myself if something were to happen to you while I was off painting in New York," he explained, relieved that he'd spoken his true fears. He walked to the couch, sat down, and hoped to entice Brian to at least sit with him. They communicated better through touch, a language they both understood.

Brian walked to the liquor cabinet and fiddled with the shot glass. "I'm fucking fantastic. You are such a drama queen! I don't have to go back for another five weeks and I've been eating my iron-rich food, although all that red meat is going to clog my arteries." Brian turned toward Justin and saw the fatigue and sadness in his eyes; his skin was more pasty white than normal. "You are not some silly wife, Justin. You cannot take care of me every minute of every day. You have a job, and that is to paint spectacular pictures." Brian put the shot glass down, unscrewed the Beam and poured himself a glass.

"But I can do that here, in Pittsburgh. Why do I need to be in New York?" Justin motioned for Brian to join him on the couch, his eyes pleaded his case.

Brian walked to the couch, sat down and ran his fingers through his hair. "We've discussed this. New York is where you need to be, to be seen, to attend openings, to make a name for yourself." Brian paused, seeing the beautiful lips and blue eyes of the man he cared for more than life itself. Brian pulled Justin to him gently by the nape of his neck and kissed him fully on his lips, as he ran his hands through Justin's locks. "Why don't you stay for a few days, work on your sketches, do some computer work, design the new paintings. You'll see that I'm fine and that you have nothing to worry about."

Justin smiled at the suggestion. "That would work. If I can get the ideas down on the computer, painting them will be easier. Thank you, Brian." Justin hugged him, and Brian allowed him to do so.

"Don't thank me. I'm being selfish here. I don't want to explain to everyone why you returned to the Pitts. It's much easier to have you unexpectedly visit for a few days, then to be called the killer of your career." i_And I'll be able to live with myself as well. I love having him here but he needs to be in New York, and I need to make sure he stays there for a while./i_

Justin smiled at Brian's attempt to justify his actions, but he didn't call him on the ruse. After all, he was home for a few days to be with Brian; being fucked into the mattress always made him happy. "I'll start now. Come back to the table and finish your dinner. Then I'll let you fuck me into the mattress."

Brian laughed. "It's a deal." Brian walked back to the table, seeing the delighted smile on Justin's face, and knew he made the right decision. "How's Sean?"

"Good. He's the one who told me to talk to you."

"I kind of figured he was a part of the conspiracy, but I wouldn't think he would want to lose his roommate, especially seeing how he connived you into the living arrangement," Brian said, tongue-in-cheek.

Justin smiled at Brian's obvious teasing, realizing that Brian was okay with his decision. "Actually, he didn't know about the moving back thing. I think he would have freaked, seeing how he really needs my rent money."

"Ah, I see. Well, he'll be happy to know that I've convinced you to return to New York. Now, enough talk, time for my reward for letting you visit." Brian stood up, grabbed Justin by the arm and pulled him toward the bedroom, where he unbuttoned Justin's shirt and kissed him on his bare chest. The man always made him hot.

They made it to the bed and each man quickly took off their remaining clothing. Brian pushed Justin down on the bed and guided him to get on his hands and knees. It still amazed him that fucking Justin never got old. His adage of never doing a trick twice flew out the window when he met Justin and he never quite knew why, but he was glad that he'd kept him around. He loved this man and he was happy to have him back in his bed, albeit for a few days.

Brian wasn't in the mood for foreplay; down and dirty was the menu for tonight. The picture of Justin eager and waiting for him always made him hard, and today was no different. Brian was glad that Justin liked it hard and fast as well as slow and steady, and they usually were on the same wave length. Brian reached for the lube and condoms in the bedside drawer and threw them on the bed. Swiftly squirting some lube on his fingers, he pushed two fingertips into Justin, enjoying the tight fit around his fingers and the squeeze as Justin's ass gripped his fingers. He often wondered what it would feel like on his dick, but knew he would never ask Justin to do that. He wanted him around for a long time. Justin moaned loudly at the intrusion, arching up to meet Brian's slow stretch of his ass.

Brian pushed into Justin with his entire two fingers, stretching him quickly. Justin hissed slightly at the increased pressure, but tightened his anal muscles around Brian's fingers, signaling his readiness. Brian took out his fingers, quickly sheathed his cock and gently pushed through the tight ring of muscle, sliding his dick in and out. No matter how many times he fucked Justin, it was always good, and today was no different. Whether they took their time, lazily drawing out the anticipation, or moving to the main event in 60 seconds flat, it was enjoyable.

"Yes, more, Brian," grunted Justin as Brian hit his prostate with each push.

Brian did as Justin directed and soon felt that familiar tingling in his spine, all through his body, signaling his imminent release. Grabbing Justin's cock, he pulled firmly, shoving the young man over the edge as well. Brian eased out of Justin, held the condom in place and then quickly discarded it into the trash. He rolled onto his back, grabbed Justin by the waist, and pulled him close. Justin reached up and tucked the duvet over them as they lay on the bed, recovering from their post-orgasm high.

Brian's heart rate returned to normal and he turned over to grab a cigarette. He took a few drags and then offered it to Justin. They lay quietly, enjoying each other's company, not having to say a word.

The ringing of the phone broke their gentle silence.

"Kinney."

"…Yeah Mikey. I'm here. Didn't go to New York this weekend. New York came to me."

"…Yeah. That means that Justin is here." Justin poked him as Brian talked to his best friend.

"…yes, Mikey. I know that this is the i_Studs and Suds/i_ night, and we will be there." Brian hung up the phone.

"We're going to Babylon," Justin stated as a matter of course after hearing Brian's side of the conversation.

"Maybe. I told Michael we would be there, but maybe I don't want to go," Brian said with his tongue pressed in the side of his cheek.

Justin playfully slapped Brian on the arm. "You can't fool me. I guess that means another shower."

"Shower it is, and you owe me a blow job since you didn't join me when I took one earlier."

They took their shower and went to Babylon.

"Hello boys," Brian said as he walked up to the bar.

"Justin, I see you and Brian left the Loft long enough to join your friends," Michael teased.

"Hey guys. It's so good to be here. I haven't danced in forever."

"Sweety. They do have clubs in New York. Well, I do remember the last time we were there - remember when we had to join Brian on his little quest to find you?"

Brian glared at Emmett, but he continued, ignoring his friend.

"Anyway, where was I? Oh yes. When we were in New York, I distinctly remember that there were some wonderful clubs. Unfortunately, we only got to enjoy them for one night… but oh what a night it was. There was this one club…"

"Em, I think Justin and Brian aren't interested in your club experience in New York," Ted said as he watched his boss glaring at the nelly queen.

"Oh okay," he mock pouted. "Baby, why don't we dance? It's been forever." Em grabbed Justin and led him to the dance floor.

"I thought Justin was supposed to be here next week. You told me that you had to work this weekend and couldn't help me out at Ma's."

"He b**was/b** supposed to be here next week, but he surprised me. Either way, I still can't help you out. I have a campaign deadline." Brian turned toward the bartender and ordered. "Two waters."

Brian and Justin enjoyed their evening. They startled awake the next morning when the phone rang. Justin pushed Brian to answer the phone, and Brian fumbled for the offending noise maker.

"Kinney."

"Brian, you're supposed to see Gus today; are you coming?"

"Well, hello to you too."

"Brian. Gus can't leave the window; he keeps asking when Daddy is going to get here. So, I repeat. Are you coming or not? I need to let him know if you will be here."

"I said I was coming. We'll be there in an hour." Brian hung up the phone, sat up in bed, and ran his hand over his face, and gently pushed Justin to the side. Justin pulled a pillow over his head and ignored Brian. Brian pushed him again, and eventually Justin pulled the pillow off of his head, squinting at the sunlight.

"Time to get up, Sunshine. We're supposed to take Sonny Boy to the park and kick the soccer ball around. Time to get that bubble butt into the shower and some food into your belly."

Justin waded into the bathroom, turning the shower on, allowing it to warm up. Brian followed shortly after, joining him in their morning ritual. They gave each other mutual blow jobs and enjoyed a quick fuck. They dressed quickly, Brian grabbed his keys, and they drove to the Munchers'.

"Daddy. You're here. And Justin." Gus hugged Brian's legs and put up his hands, signaling that he wanted a hug in return. "Yea, Justin! How come you didn't tell me Justin was coming too? Mommy says you're going to take me to the park. Can we bring the soccer ball? Will Justin swing me on the swings? Can we go to the diner for breakfast? I haven't seen Grandma Debbie in a long time."

Brian squatted down in front of Gus and gave him a hug. "Sonny Boy. It's a little late for breakfast, but we can go eat lunch at the diner. Of course we can bring your soccer ball to the park. We might even get Justin to play with us."

Lindsay walked down the stairs holding J.R. and saw Justin standing by Brian. She was a little taken aback at seeing the young man. She placed J.R. in her playpen, and went to give the two men a hug. "Justin, what are you doing here? You're supposed to be painting in New York."

"I missed my muse in New York and thought I'd come visit."

"Don't stay too long; it's hard to make a name for yourself if you're not there attending openings and talking to gallery owners. You'll lose your momentum." She frowned, hoping to get her point across without having to talk to Brian about monopolizing Justin's time.

Being the consummate country club boy, Justin smiled at Lindsay but seethed inside. He remained quiet and looked at Brian and Gus, indicating he was ready to leave.

Reading that smile as only a partner could, Brian placed his hand on the small of Justin's back, then led the young man out the door. Gus grabbed the soccer ball and waved goodbye to his mom. The three men went to the diner and ate lunch, with Brian stealing the requisite fries from Justin's plate.

Gus laughed at his father's antics, asking him in his innocent voice, "Daddy why don't you just get your own fries?"

Justin laughed at Gus' question and gave a meaningful look to his partner. "Your daddy thinks it's funny to steal my fries. He doesn't want his own; they are too fattening."

"Mommy is always on a diet. I think it's silly. Can we go to the park now? I want to go on the swings."

Brian picked up the bill, put some money on the table and they left the diner. They drove to the park, where they spent a fun afternoon playing with Gus.

They pulled into the Dairy Queen parking lot. Gus recognized the sign.

"I want a cone with two humps, Daddy."

"Two humps. Isn't that a lot ice cream for one little boy?" Brian teased.

"Mommy lets me have two humps if I've been really good. I've been really good, Daddy," Gus explained.

Justin laughed as he watched Gus schmooze his father. He wished he could get Brian to agree to things with just sweet talk, but then realized that he did just that when he came to Pittsburgh a few days ago. Brian sooo loved him.

"Well, you have been very good. You did a great job kicking the soccer ball and you listened. I guess we can get you two humps." Brian glared at Justin when he started to laugh as Brian described Gus' choice. "I wouldn't, Justin…" Brian said.

"Wouldn't what, Daddy? Justin didn't do anything."

Justin waited to see how Brian would handle the question, but in true Kinney fashion, Brian thought quickly and provided a great answer. "I was telling Justin he shouldn't get more than two humps of ice cream either. That's all he can handle."

Justin mouthed to Brian, "Just you wait," as Gus gave his order to the attendant.

They enjoyed their treat and brought Gus home. Lindsay invited them in and told Gus to take a bath before dinner.

"I just made some chocolate chip cookies. Would you like some?"

"Sure." Justin grinned and Brian just shook his head.

"Justin, how are the paintings coming along? I can't wait to see the painting you're donating for the auction. I know your work will be exquisite."

Justin took a few bites of his cookie and drank some milk afterwards. "I'm having a little trouble with my painting. That's why I'm here, to regain my inspiration."

"You mustn't stay here very long. You know you need to go back to New York. Brian, you're not going to let him give up his opportunity of a lifetime? Every artist goes through a little bit of a dry spell, Justin."

Justin sat quietly as Lindsay spouted off, but he didn't reply. He knew that she didn't want him around, and he was angry with her interference. Finishing his cookie, he swallowed the last of his milk and looked over at his partner. "I think it's time for us to leave, Brian." Justin stood up and kissed Lindsay on the cheek. "Thanks for the cookies. I'll see you next time I'm in town."

Brian and Justin returned to their car and Brian drove toward the loft. "I can't believe Lindsay. Who does she think she is telling me I need to be in New York? If I wanna come visit, nobody should be judging me. I think she just wants me gone. She thinks if I'm not here, she can work her little fantasy that I'm not in the picture."

"I think you're right, Justin. But we can't worry about that right now. I said you can stay a few days so you can get your muse back, but you'll have to go back to New York. I think right now I need a warm shower and some food that doesn't come from a diner." Brian lay his hand on Justin's thigh, providing his support.

Justin smiled and flipped through the radio channels.

Justin worked on his drawings and computer work for the next several days, making a lot of headway toward conceptualizing the new pieces for his show. Enjoying having his partner around, Brian relaxed a little and watched his diet. Justin enjoyed spending time with his partner and subtly taking care of him.

On the fourth day, they enjoyed two rounds of sex, and then lay quietly touching as their heart beats returned to normal. Brian turned toward Justin and kissed him on his forehead. "I see your muses have returned. I think it's time to go home to New York and work on your paintings."

Justin lay on top of Brian, licking him from ear to chin and then kissing him lightly on the lips. Justin said, "I can paint here."

Flipping him over, Brian slapped his ass and said, "Yes, you can, but that's not the point, Justin. You're in New York so that you can be seen, attend openings, see what other artists are doing, and to make a name for yourself. You can't do those things in Pittsburgh. You seem to have gotten your inspiration back and you're not going to babysit me. As you can see, I'm fine, healthy and not wasting away while you're in New York. So tomorrow, you pack your bags and return home. I'll be there to visit in two weeks." Brian kissed Justin again, and Justin returned the kiss. Recognizing when Brian wasn't going to give an inch, he didn't argue.

"If I'm going to go back, the least you could do is to let me top," Justin teased.

"In your dreams. Now, roll over so I can pound your ass to this mattress. I will say that I do miss the easy access to your bubble butt when you're in New York."

TBC


	6. Chapter 6

_**biChapter 5/b/i**_

**b9 ½ Months Post-513/b**

Sam met Justin in his studio the following Wednesday. Using the key he received from Justin, he let himself in after ten minutes of knocking on the door. Justin was painting a large canvas and the music was blaring in the background. He waited until Justin stood back from the painting before approaching.

Turning down the music, he said, "I see your muse has returned."

Justin turned toward Sam with a grin on his face. "Yeah. Going to see Brian was a great idea."

"Just keep up the great work. With this much energy in your paintings, they will be selling quickly."

Justin grinned, but didn't say anything. He picked up his brush, placed red paint on it and resumed his work. Sam watched for a few minutes, amazed at the genius, and let himself out.

**b10 Months Post-513/b**

Several weeks after Justin's visit to Pittsburgh, Brian came to New York to visit and to meet a potential client. Justin took him to the studio to see his latest work.

Studying the paintings, Brian examined each one as if he were a critic writing a column rather than the artist's partner. "I like the new paintings, Justin. I guess your visit home did pay off."

"I told you I had lost my inspiration; I wasn't sleeping and was worried about you."

"And I told you I was fine and I still am. I go to the doc next week, and I'm sure he'll give me another clean bill of health." Pulling Justin into an embrace, Brian wrapped his arms around Justin's neck, pulling the young man close to him. Kissing the top of his head, he showed Justin how much he cared.

"I know that you're fine, but I just worry. Like I said before, I don't want to regret my stay in New York. If something happened to you and I was over here, I would always feel guilty that I wasn't by your side." Justin lay his head on Brian's chest and wrapped his arms around his waist, returning the hug. Smelling the unique essence that was Brian, Justin inhaled deeply and sighed in contentment. Justin's stomach growled and he grinned.

"Enough of the sentimental talk; I guess we need to feed the beast." Brian let go of Justin, pushing the young man toward the door. "Where do you want to eat? Actually, the real question is, how hungry are you?"

"Since it's before 7:00 in the evening, how about some Italian? I discovered a nice Italian restaurant that has huge portions and isn't very expensive. They have great bread too." Justin grinned as he followed Brian out the door.

Shaking his head, Brian said, tongue-in-cheek, "Leave it to you to find good food at cheap prices with huge portions." He followed Justin down the stairs and out to the street, where they walked the two blocks to the Italian restaurant.

"How does Sam like the new paintings?" Brian asked as he perused the menu.

"He likes them a lot. In fact, the other day he teased me about needing to see you more frequently, if my current paintings were any indication of my need to be around you."

Brian shook his head in mock disgust. "Sounds pretty lesbianic to me. Are you sure he's straight?"

Justin laughed. He missed their little conversations and sharing tidbits of their daily lives. "Yes, I'm sure he's straight. I've met his wife. He has three kids too."

"Doesn't mean anything. He could be in the closet."

"Brian. Not everyone is gay and in the closet. Now choose your food. Here comes the waiter."

"I'll have the spaghetti with meatballs," Justin said. "I'd like a bottle of Chianti too." He smiled at Brian.

Brian shook his head at Justin's antics, as if ordering a bottle of wine would really make him upset. He knew Justin watched his money, and while he had begun to make some from his paintings, he shouldn't splurge. However, doing so when Brian was around was perfectly acceptable in his book. After all, a happy Justin made for a happy Brian.

"I'll have the Chicken Parmesan and a side salad."

"I'll have your salad out right away."

"Do you and Sean eat here when you're desperate for a meal?"

"How'd you know?"

"It's cheap, but the place is pretty packed for an early Friday. That's always a good sign. Besides, I know how much you miss Debbie's Puttanesca. It's an easy way to get your fix." Brian drank some of the Chianti the waiter poured and gave his okay. "How is Debbie? Mom said she fell."

Brian smiled as he explained the so-called fall. "Debbie didn't really fall, she tripped over some fag's huge feet. She dropped the entire tray of food and twisted her ankle."

"But is she okay? She really should be more careful."

"She's fine. She wrapped it for a few days, but complained it was too hard to walk in the wrap."

"That's good." Justin took another slice of Italian bread and buttered it. "I'm starving. I hope they bring the food soon.

"I see you're wasting away to nothing right before my eyes."

The waiter brought their food and they enjoyed a nice dinner.

"I'm so glad that you liked my new paintings. After my block, I was so afraid it would be a while before I was able to paint again. Going home to visit you was definitely the right thing to do." Justin smiled his famous sunshine smile, conveying his love and enthusiasm for life. Brian wished everything in the world could be solved by a trip home, but he knew otherwise.

The food arrived and they ate in companionable silence. Every now and then, Brian would steal a glimpse of Justin as he inwardly thought about how he got to this place in his life. He was visiting his partner for a weekend and he wasn't balking at how lesbianic it was. He was actively involved with Justin and happy about it. In fact, he was pretty happy with his life in general.

"When are you coming back to the Pitts?"

"Three weeks; you should have your test results by then and it's three weeks before the auction. That'll give me time to see everyone, and enough time to finish up what I need to do here." Justin took the last slice of bread out of the basket, buttering it and tearing off a piece as he stuffed it in his mouth.

"I told you, you don't have to worry about the test results. I'm fine and I'm following the doctor's orders. Don't you think you need to stay here and work on your paintings?" Brian waved to the waiter, signaling for the check.

Shaking his head in disagreement, Justin replied, "I want to be there when you get your results. End of discussion! I won't be able to sleep well until I know that you're absolutely fine. I've already bought my ticket and it's non-refundable, so I'm going." Justin looked defiantly at Brian.

Acknowledging that there were some fights he wasn't going to win, Brian silently paid the bill and they returned to Justin's apartment. The remainder of the weekend was spent going to the new exhibit at MOMA, dancing at Therapy, and of course fucking and getting blow jobs. When Brian left early Monday morning, Justin was happy and Brian was content.

**b10 ½ Months Post-513/b**

Brian called Justin before noon.

"Hey."

"Hey. Everything okay?"

"Fabulous. First the fire alarm in the building goes off at 4:00 fucking a.m. Blaring fire trucks are not conducive to sleeping."

"Was anything damaged?"

"Fuck no. Some neighborhood kids were playing with the fire alarm box and broke it open. Hoodlums."

"That's good. So go home. You're the boss."

"Can't. Leo Brown is coming in two days early to meet. Seems his precious daughter has some fucking piano recital and he wants to be there."

Justin listened, hearing the frustration in his partner's voice.

"Theodore is out with the flu and I need projections for next quarter for the analyst. I'm so screwed."

Justin recognized a stressed out Brian and he wanted to help him. "Go lock your door."

"Justin, I can't have phone sex right now. I've got too much to do." Brian grinned at the idea, but realized this was not feasible at the moment.

"Who said anything about sex? I was just going to…"

"Going to what, Justin? Sing me a lullaby?" Brian laughed at his suggestion.

"Well, okay. I was going to talk you through a great hand job. So sue me."

Brian laughed and felt himself relaxing as he talked to Justin. "Well, I really don't have time for phone sex, but thanks for the offer."

"You okay?"

Brian breathed deeply for a moment and realized that he was more relaxed. Who knew that just talking to Justin could help him? "Yeah. Talk to you tonight. Later."

"Later."

**b11 Months Post-513/b**

Justin waited impatiently to board the plane to Pittsburgh. He was excited, having missed Brian and his family. Ignoring the flight attendant's advances, he thought about his reunion with Brian. As he sat in the seat, he got hard at the thought of Brian caressing his bare chest as he kissed his hungry mouth, and was eager to reach Pittsburgh.

"Thank you for flying Liberty Air. The temperature in Pittsburgh is 55 degrees. Enjoy your stay and we hope to see you soon," the captain finally said. The flight had seemed eternally long tonight. Grabbing his messenger bag and small backpack, he disembarked from the plane and met Brian at the luggage carousel.

Brian smiled as he saw Justin walking toward him. Engulfing him in a hug, Brian kissed the top of his head as Justin dropped his backpack, and wrapped his arms around him.

"Hey. Good flight?"

"Too long. Had to hide my hard on the whole way here. The flight attendant kept trying to pick me up. I think he thought it was for him."

"Well, I guess we need to remedy that problem for you. There's a restroom over there." Brian pointed to a door a few feet from them.

Justin shook his head. "No. I'll wait where I can really enjoy you. I want to taste and smell the unique Brian Kinney, not the smell of some antiseptic bathroom."

They walked to Brian's car and he drove them to the loft. They were barely out of the elevator and into Brian's loft before they were tearing each other's clothes off.

Frantically kissing each other and touching each other's naked bodies, Brian and Justin tumbled into the bed, where they continued kissing, speaking in actions what they did not need to say in words. Brian reached for the lube and condoms and prepared Justin. He stretched his hole with one finger and then put a second one in as he scissored them back and forth. Justin hissed in pleasure and begged for Brian.

"I need you. Please."

Brian loved to hear Justin beg and lose control. Justin was a vocal man in bed and the sounds he made caused Brian's cock to leak precum. He drew his finger across his slit and gave it to Justin to suck. Justin sucked the digit eagerly as he enjoyed the taste of Brian.

"Mmm," Justin said as he moaned at the loss of Brian's finger.

He leaned down to press his lips firmly on Justin's mouth and pushed into the warm, sweet cavern. Justin tasted like honey, sweet but not overpowering and Brian's tongue played in Justin's mouth.

He pushed into Justin and waited until Justin signaled to him. Justin hit Brian's ass and Brian pumped with quick, deep thrusts. Justin arched up with each thrust, eager for Brian to hit his sweet spot. Beads of sweat dropped onto Justin's chest, and Justin clenched the sheets with his hands.

"Now! Harder! Brian! Brian!"

"Come for me, Justin!"

Brian came first and Justin followed quickly. "That was hot!"

"Yes, it was. I guess you missed me." Justin rolled over and pulled the condom off Brian, tied it in a knot and dropped it into the trash.

"Twat!" Brian lay on his back and caressed Justin's stomach as he swirled the come that pooled there. He scooped it up and tasted it, smacking his lips as he enjoyed the treat. "So you're here for four days? What are your plans?"

"Lots of sex, visiting the Forum gallery, and seeing my mom. We started on the first one; the second one I'll do in the morning, and the third, maybe tomorrow night. What are your plans?" Before Brian could answer, Justin went to the bathroom and grabbed a warm, wet cloth. Bringing it back to the bed, he cleaned Brian and then wiped himself. Laying back down on the bed, he casually asked, "You haven't said anything about the test results. Were they okay?"

Brian had hoped that Justin would not bring this topic up until later, but he knew Justin better than that, and knew he would worry until he answered. "They still found some anomalies."

"You weren't going to tell me. Brian, I'm your partner. Or has that changed? I thought you learned your lesson when you had cancer. Why are you doing this?"

Grabbing a pair of sweats, Brian put them on and walked out into the living area, where he went straight to the liquor cart and poured himself a shot of Beam. Quickly downing the familiar liquor, he poured himself a second shot and drank that as well.

Justin grabbed a pair of sweats and joined Brian in the living room. Sitting on the couch, he watched Brian as he drank the whiskey, feeling his gut twist as he feared the worst. "Talk to me, Brian. Don't shut me out."

"There is nothing to say, Justin. The cancer isn't back, but the blood work isn't normal. My weight is good, I'm not fatigued, and my anemia has improved. I just have to keep going back for more blood work. Dr. Houston said if nothing changes in the next few months, I won't go back for another six months. Now stop with the queen out and let's enjoy the weekend."

Justin let out a deep breath and felt the adrenaline slow down as it quit firing in his body. "Okay. I hope you're telling me the truth. I love you." Justin stood up, walked over to Brian, and hugged him from behind. Brian leaned into the hug, allowing both of them the comfort of the embrace.

"Let's enjoy the weekend. I told Lindsey that we would come over and play with Gus, and she agreed to let us keep him overnight. We should go dancing at Babylon; it's been too long. Unfortunately, I have some work I have to finish this weekend, but I'm sure you can keep yourself occupied, if necessary."

"Sounds like a plan. I feel pretty sticky from my trip. Want to join me in the shower?"

"Excellent idea. Go warm the water up and I'll lock the doors."

In the morning, Brian went to the office and Justin met Daphne for lunch at their favorite restaurant, Bravo's Italian Kitchens. Hugging each other when they met outside, they quickly entered and were seated.

After ordering, Daphne started asking questions. "How's New York treating you? Have you met any famous people? Is it true that you can order pizza at 4:00 a.m. and have dinner at 6:00 in the morning? Come on, dish, I want to hear it all."

Justin sipped some Coke before starting. "New York is good. If you count artists as famous people, well then yeah, I've met some. If you mean movie stars, no. I can't afford to hang out where those people go. I'm usually sleeping at 4:00 a.m. and if I'm not, I'm eating other things. And as to your last question - why in fuck's name would I be up at 6:00 a.m. and eating dinner? Again, if I'm awake, it's because I'm involved in much more enjoyable activities," Justin said, tongue-in-check, as he enjoyed the slight blush that crept on Daphne's face.

"So how are you and Brian?" she asked as the waiter refilled her water glass.

"Good. We're good…" Justin hesitated just slightly as he answered.

"Justin… What's wrong? I recognize that tone."

"Daph…" he warned.

"Don't 'Daph' me. Talk to me, Justin."

Justin played with his soda glass, twirling it in the water ring the glass made. "You can't tell anyone, Daph. Brian will kill me."

Daphne saw the worry in his eyes and reached out her hand to grasp his. "Is he sick again?" she managed to ask, even though the question stuck in her throat.

"Not exactly. His blood work keeps coming back with some weird numbers."

"Okay."

"The doc just wants to watch him and test him every month. That's why I've been coming in. I want to be there when he gets his results."

"So… how is he?"

"Good. The tests keep coming back weird, but the doc says he's okay. I just worry about him."

The waitress brought their food. Justin played with his pasta for a few minutes before twirling some on his fork.

"Justin…. at least this time he's telling you about it. That's huge. You'll just have to be patient. I'm sure the doctors know what they are doing."

"Yeah. I guess. He doesn't like to talk about it. Thanks for letting me talk."

"You know I'm always here for you, Justin. Give Brian a big hug for me." She finished her pasta and looked at Justin's plate and saw that he had finished his meal also. "I hate to run but I have to meet my friend, Carol, at the dress store."

"Sure. I'll keep you up to date on things." Justin picked up the bill and took it to the counter to pay the hostess. He returned to the Loft, where he sketched and then took a nap.

The remainder of Justin's visit was uneventful. He saw his mom, and Michael, and spent a lot of time with Brian. He was sad yet resigned when he returned to New York.

**b12 Months Post-513/b**

The night of the benefit arrived. Justin's painting was on an easel with other donated works, waiting to be auctioned. The patrons walked past the auction items and Justin listened to their glowing comments as they saw his work. Brian was by his side and they were still together. It had been a rough year, but they had weathered the storm.

"Justin, I like the painting you donated. It's bright and colorful," Michael chimed in, even though he knew little about art.

Smacking her familiar gum, Debbie looked at all the paintings and then announced, "I can't make heads or tails out of those pictures, but I'm sure yours is the best." She leaned over and gave him the requisite kiss, and then smeared it off to leave just a trace of lipstick on his cheek.

"As an artist myself, I see your work has such raw energy. We're so proud of you," Lindsay said, beaming.

But the best compliment came from Brian: "Sunshine, I'm proud of you."

Those words were the most important, as Brian rarely complemented anyone.

Sam, his agent, had flown down for the show, even though it was a charity event. Pulling Justin aside, he told him, "Your piece was one of the top auction items - that is a good sign. I'm working on some connections for a show in New York. With your success here, it should go a long way to making that happen." He shook Justin's hand and went to talk to John Collier.

Smiling at the praise from everyone, Justin floated around the gallery and later remembered little of the evening. After the benefit, everyone in their group joined Justin and Brian in a small party that Emmett had catered in his honor.

Brian watched through the window of the Loft as the taxi pulled away from the curb. He waved as Justin flashed his huge smile toward him and then lit a cigarette, inhaling the calming smoke. This visit had been longer than most; Justin was here for five days. He'd attended the AIDS benefit and that had been a wonderful evening, but the remainder of the visit was filled with their favorite activities: fucking, sucking, rimming and dancing at Babylon. He'd looked forward to it for days, not that he would ever admit that to anyone, but now it was over. He wouldn't see Justin for at least a month, and his heart clenched when he admitted that he would miss him.

TBC


	7. Chapter 7

_**Chapter 6**_

**16 Months Post-513**

The next several months went by quickly. They talked every night, reviewed their day and always ended the call with phone sex.

"I can't wait for everyone to see the show. I can't believe that I have an exhibit at the Nancy Hoffman Gallery." Justin lay on his bed naked, stroking his cock.

"I can. You're very talented and you've worked really hard for this." Brian unzipped his jeans, pulling out his cock and watched as it filled after hearing Justin's familiar voice.

"There is so much to do before the show. I have to make sure the pieces are hung correctly and the frames match the mood I want to convey. I have to get my tux cleaned, and oh there are a million little details."

"Calm down, Justin," Brian said as he rolled his eyes at the drama queen moment. "Everything will fall into place. I can't wait to see you in your tux. Aren't you happy now that I convinced you to let me buy it?"

"Thank you. Did I ever thank you for buying it for me?"

Smiling at the memory, Brian said, "Oh, you thanked me for it several times that day, once in the dressing room, once in the cab and I think another time in my hotel room." Brian stroked his cock, running his thumb over the sensitive head.

Justin laughed as he felt the tension start to leave his body. "I wish you were here. You make everything better." He played with his nipples, heightening his arousal but he was able to have a coherent conversation.

"Stop being a lesbian. Twat! I just recognize you having a queen out, now why don't you stop talking about your show and start talking dirty to me. My cock is so hard, I'm about to explode." Brian smirked.

"Imagine that I'm holding your cock, my hands are slick with that sandalwood lotion you keep in the night stand. I've warmed them up so you can't complain that they're cold."

Brian took out the sandalwood lotion and put some on his hands, and slid them up and down his hard cock. His breathing got shallower and Justin could hear the short intakes.

"That's it; roll your hands up and down. Now take one hand and fondle your balls, especially that space behind them. Take your thumb and slide it over the top of the head, smearing your cum over the top. Take your fist and gently squeeze the head as you come to the top of your stroke. I'm kissing you, soft gentle kisses, and then I take your bottom lip into my mouth, sucking the flesh."

"Justin, I'm cloooooose."

"Take your finger past your balls and slide it back toward your hole. Play with the opening, dip it in the crack and then slide it back toward your balls as you keep stroking your hard cock. Move your hand faster. My hand is on your cock, stroking it fast, touching the sensitive head, pulling it as my other hand dips into your crack, teasing your hole."

Justin recognized the short shallow breathing that indicated Brian's imminent release. "Come on. Come for me! I want to see your beautiful face after you shoot your load."

Brian came at the mention of shooting his load, a favorite trigger for him. Grabbing a tissue, he wiped himself off as he waited for his heart beat to return to normal. When his breathing evened out, he returned the favor for Justin, who came as well.

"I'm beat. I'll see you in a few days," Brian said as he pulled the blanket up and shut off the light. "Later."

"Later," Justin returned the familiar greeting and went to bed as well.

As Justin predicted, the next few days were filled with a million details and he barely had time to eat, a situation that his stomach frequently let him know was unacceptable. He grabbed chips and hot dogs from street vendors and drank multiple coffees from Starbucks. Finally, on the evening before the show, everything was in place, and he collapsed in his small apartment from exhaustion. He'd set the alarm in anticipation of Brian's arrival in mid-morning, and was surprised when it went off.

Sitting up in bed, he ran his hand over his face a few times and then mussed his hair. He stretched to get the kinks out of his back and reminisced about the great bed that Brian had in the Loft; he wished that he could somehow transport both the bed and Brian to New York. He always slept better with Brian in the room; there was something about the long arms wrapped around his chest and his head tucked in the small space between his arm and body. Padding to the bathroom, he turned on the water and brushed his teeth while he waited for it to heat up. His mind wandered again to the many showers that he and Brian had shared in the loft and in Kinnetik's apartment, since Brian refused to stay in Justin's small place. Justin was envisioning their reunion since Brian was meeting him at the gallery event; therefore, he had all day before he saw him.

He finished his morning routine, and then met his agent, Sam, for breakfast and to discuss his show and the commissions that he was currently working on.

"Justin. Everything is set for the show tonight. I'm sure it will be the talk of the critics."

"You really think so?"

"Justin. I get paid to recognize talent and you are an up and coming artist. The donated painting you did for the AIDS benefit was one of the top offerings that night. I wouldn't be surprised if you sell at least half of your work before the evening is over." Sam drank some of his latte and smiled at Justin.

Justin took a deep breath and drank some coffee. "I hope you're right. I'm just so nervous."

"Relax. It will be okay. You told me that Brian will be coming in town a little early. Why don't you get ready?"

Justin smiled his famous smile with the mention of Brian's name. "Yeah. It will be great to see him. Guess I should go finish my errands and get ready for tonight."

"Go ahead. I've got the bill." Sam waved Justin from the table and he watched the young man walk away, a lilt in his step.

The limo he ordered brought Justin to the gallery about two hours before the show. Brian arrived ten minutes after he did, and Brian whisked him away to the bathroom.

Justin kissed Brian and opened up his mouth, and enjoyed the flavor that was uniquely Brian. Brian returned the kiss as he started to unbutton Justin's shirt.

"Briannnn," Justin sighed as he felt Brian unzip his fly and take out his cock, his warm hand fondling him until his cock reached its full length.

"Shh! You need to relax and I know a wonderful way to do just that," Brian said as he unzipped his own fly, turned Justin around, and grabbed the condom and lube out of his pocket. He prepared Justin, and squeezed the lube on his finger, and slid it swiftly into Justin.

Justin giggled. "I can't believe I'm having a show in less than two hours and you're here fucking me in the men's room." He pushed back onto Brian's fingers, enjoying the stretch. "Now!" Justin urged.

Brian removed his fingers and pushed into Justin, and savored the tight ass that never failed to deliver. Whether it was a quickie or a lengthier endeavor, Justin always delivered. His ass was tight and the moans as well as his eagerness never failed to spur Brian to perform his very best. Not that he was really performing with Justin. It was a joining of the two men in the most intimate way possible.

Justin grabbed onto the sink for leverage as Brian pumped his ass. "Come for me, Justin," he urged.

He pushed into Justin and hit his sweet spot; Justin's groans spurred him on. Brian felt the familiar tingling in his spine as he shot into the condom, and Justin shot across the sink.

Brian pulled out of Justin, tied off the condom and dropped it in the trash. He pulled down some paper towels, and Justin wiped himself and the sink. Justin tucked himself back in, and kissed Brian on the lips.

Justin's breathing was quickly returning to normal and he reached up to kiss Brian gently on the lips. "Thank you." He didn't need to explain any further since he knew that Brian would just tease him that he was a lesbian, but he knew that Brian understood. Justin looked in the mirror to ensure his shirt was straight. "Come on. I want to give you a private viewing before the show starts." He started to pull Brian toward the gallery.

"I thought I just had a private viewing."

"Briannnn," Justin said as he walked around the corner. "Of the show."

"Oh. Of course. The show. Let's go see your paintings."

Justin gave him a short tour and then had to excuse himself as more people arrived at the gallery. Brian was looking at the large canvas when Jennifer came up to him.

"These are very good, if the critic's opinions are right." She didn't look at Brian while she spoke, just stood there and talked.

"They are excellent. I'm trying to decide which one to buy. I want to get one for Kinnetik. I like the one in the corner over there. The colors would go well in our lobby."

Jennifer looked over at the painting and then walked closer to get a better view. Brian followed her. After several minutes studying the painting and thinking about the layout in Kinnetik, Jennifer said, "Yes. I think it would go well."

"Stay here and don't let anyone buy it. I'm going to find Sam and have him put a sticker on it." Brian walked off in Sam's direction and informed him he wanted to buy it.

"Excellent choice. It's one of my favorites," Sam said as he placed a sold sticker on the corner. "I told Justin this morning that the critics would love the show, and I bet him that half of his paintings would sell before the end of the opening. I see I wasn't wrong."

"Of course the paintings would sell," Brian said, as if anything else would be an acceptable outcome.

Sam smiled at Brian's loyalty but excused himself. "I must go speak with Mr. Collier."

Sean walked up to Brian next. "It's a great show," Sean remarked.

"It's okay," Brian answered.

Sean gave Brian a quizzical look, but didn't question the answer. He'd had enough conversations with Justin to understand that Brian's 'okay' meant that he really liked something. Sean was glad that the show was such a success. Justin had rarely kept still and was so anxious before the show that Sean hoped its success would mean he would return to the calm and serene roommate who originally moved in with him.

At the end of the evening, Justin made his way to Brian and smiled his patented grin. "I sold six pieces tonight. Sam is ecstatic and I'm happy too." He wrapped his arms around Brian's neck and kissed him solidly on the mouth.

"A celebration is in order, and luckily I have reserved a table at Eleven Madison Park for everyone. The limo should be arriving in fifteen minutes." Brian made a point of returning Justin's kiss to mark his territory, but he would never admit to such possessive behavior.

Despite the late hour, the food was exceptional and everyone raved about the service and complimented Justin on his show.

"Sweetheart, I'm so proud of you. Every time I come to one of your shows, I'm amazed at how your art has progressed. You have a dedicated following already and you've only been here for sixteen months. I can't imagine what your paintings will be like in a few years."

"Damn straight, Sunshine. I'm no critic, but you sure packed 'em in," Debbie said.

"Justin, I'm so glad you listened to me and went to New York to follow your dream. I'm sure you would not have come this far if you were still in Pittsburgh," Lindsay said.

"Thank you for coming to my show. It means so much to me, but I'm beat. Brian promised me that we would enjoy the Jacuzzi in the apartment, and I really hear it calling my name." Justin got up and kissed everyone at the table and told them each a private "good bye" or "thanks for coming". He stood up and gave his hand to Brian, and they left the restaurant.

"Amazing how Brian and Sunshine are still together. If I hadn't seen it with my own eyes, I wouldn't believe it. They really made it work. Good for them." Debbie yawned and covered her mouth with her napkin. "Well… I think Sunshine has the right idea. I'm beat. I can't wait to take off this fancy bra; it goes down to my damn navel." Debbie stood up and kissed Michael and Ben good night.

Michael got up from the table. "I'll call you a cab. I want to make sure you get back to the hotel."

"Thanks, Michael. You're a good son."

Everyone left the restaurant and went their separate ways. Jennifer planned on staying the weekend and doing some shopping, but everyone else was catching a plane in the morning. Michael and Ben hit Therapy, and Ted, Emmett, and Blake went with them. They listened to the thumpa thumpa and danced for a few hours, but by 3:30 they shared a cab back to the Salisbury Hotel. In the morning, they took the limo that Brian ordered to LaGuardia, and returned to Pittsburgh.

Brian and Justin started the late evening with mutual blow jobs, and then lay in the warm water to relax. However, they both fell asleep while they enjoyed the warm jets of the Jacuzzi. When the jets stopped shooting, it woke Brian.

"Justin," he whispered in his ear. "Let's go to bed. We fell asleep in the Jacuzzi."

Justin startled at Brian's voice. "Sorry. I guess I was more tired than I thought." He stood up and grabbed the towel from the rack and dried himself off before he stepped out of the tub.

Brian grabbed his towel and dried his body as well. They went to bed and promptly fell asleep.

In the morning, the lovers enjoyed three rounds of sex before they ventured out to shop and go to MOMA to catch a new exhibit Justin wanted to see. Like most weekends they spent together, they enjoyed each other's company, had lots of sex and ate at some fantastic restaurants. In the evening, they went to Therapy as well, and danced with multiple people and took a few tricks to the back room. It was after 4:00 a.m. when they caught a cab back to the apartment and collapsed into the bed, and didn't wake up until noon.

"What time is your flight?" Justin asked as he turned the water on in the shower.

"At 3:30; the 6:00 was full and I have an early morning meeting that I couldn't change. I'll have to leave soon."

Brian joined him in the shower, where they had shower sex and Justin gave Brian a blow job.

"Hopefully I'll be in town over the 4th of July**.** Maybe I could come in after Memorial Day. That's only a few weeks away," Justin said wistfully as he dried himself and started dressing. "I hate that I can't see you all the time."

"Stop being a lesbian, Justin. You know as well as I do this is where you need to be. Now come over here and give me a blow job for the road and then I have to catch a cab to the airport," Brian said as he pulled Justin to him by caressing his neck.

Justin did as Brian asked, savoring the taste, smell and feel of his partner's cock as he knew it would be awhile before he could enjoy it again.

TBC


	8. Chapter 8

_**Chapter 7**_

**16 Months Post-513**

Justin leaned in to kiss Brian goodbye as he entered the cab. They both hated airports and avoided taking each other there when they left town. Meeting each other at the airport was a different story, but it was not always feasible either. As Justin watched Brian drive down the street, he felt sad; his partner was leaving and while he'd had an amazing weekend with his show opening, he was a little let down as well. Going upstairs to the apartment, he grabbed his bag and made his way to the subway. He returned to his apartment, where he let himself in and was met by Sean, who was sitting on the couch.

"Great show. Everybody gone now?"

"Yeah. Glad you could make it. Mom stayed through Sunday to shop, but everybody else left Saturday morning. No one could really afford to stay the weekend except Brian, who left about an hour ago."

Looking at his roommate, Sean remarked, "You look lost, like someone just took your favorite play toy away."

Justin sat on the couch, dropping his bag to the side of the offending piece of furniture. "Yeah. For the first time in I don't know how long, I don't have anywhere to go or anything pressing that is calling my name. I will go back to the studio, probably tomorrow, but for right now, I'm just here."

"Want to go to a bar and grab a drink?"

Shaking his head, Justin said, "No, but thanks anyway. Brian and I went clubbing at Therapy Friday and Saturday, and I'm all barred out. I'll just grab a beer. Want one?"

"Sure. How about a movie? I've got some Netflix rentals around here that I need to watch so I can return them."

Justin opened the refrigerator and grabbed two beers, popping the top of both. "Sure, that sounds like a plan. Movies are just about all I can handle right now." Returning to the living room with the beers, he handed one to Sean and he drank the other. They watched i_Night at the Museum II/i _and two episodes of i_Law and Order/i. _They ordered pizza for dinner and sat in companionable silence most of the evening.

"Thanks. I needed this, just sitting around, blowing an evening - no work, no crisis - nothing but me and the TV." Justin picked up his bag, taking it toward his bedroom. "I'm pretty tired. See you tomorrow."

"Nite, Justin." Sean picked up the empty beer bottles and threw the pizza box in the trash. They had eaten all but one piece and he wrapped it and placed it in the fridge. Yawning, he bolted and locked the front door, shut off the light and went to bed as well.

Justin slept until 10:00. He was well-rested and surprised that he had slept that late. Picking up his cell phone, he pushed the "1" for Brian.

Looking at the caller ID, Brian answered on the first ring. "Hey. Just get up?"

"Yeah. Guess I was more tired than I thought. I miss you."

"Justin…" Brian did not continue, knowing that Justin understood those kinds of statements did neither of them any good, and made both of them miserable and resolved nothing.

Getting the message, Justin tried another tactic. "I had a great weekend. I'm still pinching myself that I just had an exhibit in a big name gallery."

"You did and I'm so proud. Now, unless you need something besides my dick, I do have work to do. Some of us don't have the luxury of sleeping half the morning away and then leisurely getting to work," Brian teased.

"Yeah. I need to get to the studio. I have a few things I want to start on while they're still fresh in my mind."

"Later."

"Later."

Laying his phone on his dresser, Justin undressed and got ready for the shower. As he washed his body, thoughts of Brian and himself enjoying the shower at the Kinnetik apartment this past weekend crossed through this mind and he found himself hard very quickly. Unfortunately, there was no Brian to give him a blow job or quick fuck so he brought himself off, shooting ropes of come on the shower tiles.

Finishing his shower, he took the spray nozzle and made sure to get all the semen off the walls. Sean hated it when he went to shower and there were come streams there. Drying himself off, he dressed in his paint clothing, ate the leftover pizza and grabbed a Coke. After placing his keys, wallet and cell phone in his pocket, he left the building and walked toward his studio. Thankfully, he'd managed to rent studio space only a few blocks from home. It made it very convenient to work late or get up at 2:00 a.m. when he had a sudden inspiration.

Unlocking the studio door, he was greeted with three canvases that he'd started a few weeks ago, but had been abandoned in the haste to complete all the work for the show. Sitting on his futon, he looked at them, and flipped open his computer. He reviewed the files and determined the next step for the paintings. He docked his iPod and set it to shuffle, gathered his supplies, and started painting.

He'd been painting for two hours when his hand started cramping and his stomach growled. Placing his brushes in turpentine, Justin rummaged in the mini-fridge for some food, finding some yogurt and a Coke. He had three granola bars in the cabinet and ate those as well. The half hour it took to eat had given his hand some much needed rest, and he returned to painting for another three hours. His iPod needing charging and he was hungry, so he cleaned and locked up and returned home.

During the next several weeks, Justin stayed busy. He painted during the day, and in the evening he often cooked, something Brian didn't always appreciate since he wouldn't eat carbs after 7:00. After dinner, Sean and he hung out, watching TV or going to a movie. Occasionally they would shoot some pool or meet Sean's friends for coffee. Justin went to art openings a few nights a week and continued to show his face at "important" events. He met with Sam at least once a week, often at his studio, where Sam would come to view his works in progress. At night he would call Brian, sharing anecdotes about the art industry, his neighbors and even Sean. They ended all their calls with mutual phone sex, something they both enjoyed but neither liked as much as they would in person.

**17 Months Post-513**

A month after the show, Justin met with Sam at Starbucks. Walking into the shop, he spotted Sam, joining him after he ordered his hot chocolate.

Sam sipped his double latte and watched as Justin scooped the whipped cream off his hot chocolate. "You've come a long way, Justin. Your show was a great success and now you're painting full time. It often takes years for artists to reach that point in their career. You're well on your way to becoming a renowned artist. As you know, I've had several inquiries about potential shows and we need to talk about a timeline for them."

Sipping his hot chocolate, Justin regarded Sam with a critical eye. "It was a great show, an evening I'll never forget. I'm so glad that my family was able to be there." Justin's stomach growled and he smiled. "Brian always says that there's a beast in my belly and I guess I need to feed him. Can I get you anything?" Sam shook his head. Pushing his chair slightly out, Justin went to the counter and ordered a Danish and a bagel with cream cheese. Taking his purchases back to the table, he sat down and opened the package of cream cheese, then smeared it on his bagel. "I'd like to make a trip to Pittsburgh before I decide any new timelines."

Finishing his latte, Sam smiled at Justin. "You can probably go for a week or so, but I wouldn't stay too long. You don't want to wait too long before starting to paint for your next exhibit. I know that you have to work slowly because of your hand, and when you get stressed your hand tends to act out."

Justin finished his food and wiped his mouth, placing the napkin on the table. "I don't need to be reminded about my hand and I understand your concern, but I do need to spend some time with Brian, and if that means I have to push my hand in order to meet my deadlines, then so be it," Justin announced so that Sam knew exactly where his priorities were.

"I'm not your enemy, Justin, just your agent. We both want the same thing; your success. Seeing Brian on a regular basis ensures that your paintings are high quality and ones the public purchases. Your work is for shit when you don't see him and I'm all for quality work. Go home and spend some time with your partner, and come back in a week or so, ready to paint."

"Thanks, Sam. I'll see you sometime next week."

Justin went to the studio, spending most of the day painting. He finished one of the pieces and was well on his way to completing the other two. He knew that he could spend a week in Pittsburgh without jeopardizing his hand or his work.

Instead of waiting for the evening and their regular call, Justin called Brian at 4:30 p.m. "Hey."

"What's wrong?" Brian asked, going into protective partner mode, knowing that Justin rarely called during the day unless there was a problem.

"Nothing. I met with Sam today, and he wants to set up some timelines for upcoming exhibits."

Brian listened, waiting for the other shoe to drop.

"I told him I wanted to come home for a visit. He lectured me about spending too much time in the Pitts, forcing me to overuse my hand. Sounds like someone else I know."

"He's right. You have to be careful, Justin. You're not like other people. When you overdo things, you pay with pain."

"I know." Justin smiled at the obvious concern in Brian's statement.

"Anyway, I called to tell you I'm coming home tomorrow."

"Twat! I've got meetings all day. I can't meet you at the airport." Brian frowned as he looked at his calendar.

"I didn't think you could so I called Mom, and she's going to pick me up. I'll meet you at the Loft when you're done for the day. We can celebrate my return." Justin could hear the effect that his words had on Brian by the sound of his breathing.

"Tell Mother Taylor 'hello'. Why don't you eat lunch with her so when I do get home, your loud beast will be placated for at least a few hours."

Justin laughed. "Will do. Later."

"Later." Brian smiled. His day just got a lot better. Justin was coming home for at least a week and he was ecstatic.

The adrenaline rush from the weeks leading up to the show and the whirlwind painting, meeting with artists and gallery owners had finally caught up to Justin as he walked into the Loft. Someone once said there was an energy zapper around the frame of people's homes, and today he finally believed them. The minute he stepped into the Loft, all his energy was gone. He reasoned that maybe he finally had allowed himself to relax and knew that he didn't need to be anywhere or do anything, and that was relaxing in and of itself. He stripped, yawned, and tucked himself into bed, falling quickly asleep in the comforting softness of their bed.

The ringing of the phone woke him and it took a few moments for his brain to recognize the noise. He didn't reach it before the answering machine picked it up. "This is Dr. Houston's office. This is a courtesy call to remind Mr. Kinney of his appointment tomorrow at 9:30 a.m. If he can't keep his appointment, please have him call us as soon as possible."_ iShit. When was he going to tell me? I don't think he was going to tell me. That bastard. I guess my visit will not be quite as relaxing as I'd hoped./i _Sitting up in bed, he rubbed his hands over his face, pushing the sleep from his body. Glancing at the nightstand, he saw that it was only 4:30 p.m., way too early for Brian to be coming home and he didn't want to have this discussion at Kinnetik. He padded over to the bathroom, turned on the shower and washed the grime of the trip away.

Making dinner would be a good distraction, so he went into the kitchen to inventory the food on hand. He hoped Brian had been shopping recently, knowing that his visits were not always planned in advance. Opening the cabinets, he was rewarded with a variety of staples and the fridge had been restocked as well. _iGood. There's enough food to keep me happy for a few days. What should I make?/i_ Deciding to keep it simple, he prepared some chicken breasts with honey mustard sauce, mashed potatoes and tossed a salad. While he turned on the oven to cook the chicken, his cell phone rang. As he looked at the caller ID, he took a deep breath and thought of a smile, hoping that would help him not go off on Brian.

"Hey," he answered casually.

"Well, I see your phone does actually work! So why the fuck didn't you call when you got in? I know Mother Taylor was picking you up, but I half-expected you to come by Kinnetik, demanding to be fed or at least fucked."

Justin smiled slightly at Brian's pretend indignation, but answered truthfully, "I was beat Brian, still am. Didn't realize how much the last few weeks have taken out of me. When I landed, mom said she only had enough time to drop me off since she had a customer who wanted to see a house. I knew you'd be busy so I had her drop me off at the Loft. Honestly, I came home and went straight to bed. I just got up a little while ago. By the way, thanks for the food. It made cooking a lot easier, and I appreciate that I didn't have to haul groceries on the bus and then try to cook us dinner." Justin took out the paring knife to cut up the carrots and broccoli.

"Twat."

"But I'm your twat," Justin teased. "When do you think you'll be home?"

Glancing at the clock on his computer, Brian answered, "Probably another hour or so."

"Okay. I'll wait to put the chicken on for another 30 minutes. I'm going to get online for a while – see what the critics are talking about today, catch up on some things."

"You do that. Later."

"Later."

Justin flipped his phone closed and finished making dinner. Pulling a sketchbook out of his backpack, he began sketching his familiar surroundings. He'd drawn this Loft a million times, but each time he returned, he knew that his mind saw things differently. Picking up a pencil, he stared at the bed with its familiar blue neon lights hanging above the headboard. So many memories took place in that bed, mostly good but a few bad ones too, but life was like that – good and bad.

He remembered taking Brian the chicken soup when he had cancer. Brian had thrown him out and he was so angry. So many emotions were rifling through him at that time. Fear: Could Brian be dying? Anger: That Brian would not let him help. Sadness: that Brian was given this horrible disease. Flashing back to that day, he knew that this time, he wouldn't be so easily swayed. He would be there for Brian. He remembered Brian's illness, his fatigue so severe that he could not finish a meal in one sitting, with his picky eating and his refusal to talk about things. He barely made it to work some days. Wednesdays were always the worst, the third day in a row of radiation, knowing that he still had two more to go after his treatment.

_iBrian is my partner; he's my everything and I won't give that up. Not this time!/i_

TBC


	9. Chapter 9

_**Chapter 8**_

**17 Months Post-513**

Justin pulled himself together. It wouldn't do to have Brian come home and see him in this state. Focusing on the bed, he began to sketch the familiar object. When Brian came home, he dropped his briefcase by the door and walked to where Justin was sitting on the couch, sketching. Leaning down, Brian kissed him, breaking Justin's concentration.

Putting down his sketch pad, Justin returned the kiss and reveled in the smooth lips, warm mouth and unique smell that was Brian. Breathless, he broke the kiss. "You're home."

"Yeah. I got away a little earlier than expected. Besides, I had your hot ass waiting for me. It was a good incentive to leave on time." Brian leaned down to give Justin another toe-curling kiss. "Less talk. Bed. Now."

Justin grinned and followed Brian into the bedroom. Quickly shedding his clothes, he joined Brian on the bed, where they frantically continued their kisses. Brian bit Justin's lip slightly, sucking in the sweet flesh, and Justin moaned in appreciation. Brian loved kissing Justin, and when Justin suggested the no-kissing-other-people rule, Brian was happy to follow it. Justin's kiss was sensual; he explored all the parts of Brian's mouth including the corners. He loved to change the pressure of his kiss and frequently pressed hard, followed by gentle, barely there kisses. He'd taught Justin many things about sex, but not kissing; he was a natural in that area.

Brian lay on top of Justin, pushing his hardening cock against him. Their cocks rubbed together, producing further heat and soon their slits were leaking precum. Brian's hands were in Justin's hair, running his fingers through the blond locks he loved so much.

The onslaught of combined stimuli made Justin forget his fears for the moment and enjoy the pleasure coursing through his body. They always talked best nonverbally, and Justin felt Brian's love as he worshipped his body. Justin arched his pelvis, grinding it into Brian. As Brian broke the kiss and sucked on Justin's sensitive nipples, Justin moved his hands to Brian's hair, mimicking Brian's earlier actions. He gently bit the slightly brown nubs until they were hard, and then soothed them with gentle licks. Moving his hands from Brian's head, Justin wrapped his arms around Brian's back as he slightly scratched the skin.

Reaching out toward the drawer of the nightstand, Brian grabbed the lube and condoms. Squirting the lube on his fingers, he quickly prepared Justin and sheathed his cock. Justin spread his legs, wrapping them around Brian's waist, opening himself to his partner. No matter how many times he and Brian had sex, each time it was satisfying, filling a deep need within each man to be close to his partner. Their joining was a reminder of their commitment to each other and to their relationship; it was not just about the sex. Despite the urgency he felt, Brian gently pushed into him, breached the tight ring and slid into the warm channel. Brian grunted with the effort and Justin sighed in ecstasy.

"Yes. That's it. Harder," Justin urged as Brian pistoned into his eagerly awaiting body.

Brian did as asked, pushing his cock deep into Justin, hitting his prostate with each thrust. Continuing to kiss Justin, he moved his tongue in time with his thrusts. Justin's body met Brian with each push as he arched into him. Digging his heels into Brian's back, Justin angled himself to fully enjoy each movement. Brian felt the familiar tingling in his spine, signaling his eminent release.

"Now, Justin. Come for me!" he urged.

Justin felt the familiar burn and arched up one last time as he felt the come shooting out over his and Brian's chests. Lowering his legs to the bed, he kept them wide so that Brian could lie between them. He always enjoyed the feeling of closeness after sex, with the surge of hormones and ultimate release caused by orgasm. Brian stayed until he had recovered from his orgasm and then rolled over, clutching the spent condom and tying it before he discarded it into the trash.

As their breathing returned to normal, Brian turned toward Justin, "What's for dinner?"

Shaking his head at the nonchalance of his partner, Justin replied, "Chicken, mashed potatoes, and a salad."

"Okay. Do we have time for a shower?"

"Justin looked at the clock on the night stand. "Yeah. If we make it quick. No fucking in the shower or the food will burn." Justin got out of bed and quickly turned on the water, adjusting it to the right temperature.

Brian joined him in the shower and they got clean without the benefit of more sex, a rarity for them. After pulling on sweats, they went to the kitchen to finish making dinner.

Brian gathered the plates and silverware as Justin checked the chicken and put the potatoes in the microwave to reheat. Grabbing the salad from the refrigerator, Justin brought it to the table and signaled Brian to sit.

"What are your plans for this week? Besides fucking, of course."

"I want to see everybody. While my mom picked me up, we didn't get to visit very long as she had a house to show. Daphne's busy with school but she promised to go out at least once with me. Michael wants to talk about the next issue of Rage, and I want to go see John Collier while I'm here. Maybe see if he is interested in hanging a few of my pieces in the gallery." Justin put some salad in his bowl and poured Thousand Island Dressing on it. "Of course, tomorrow I'm going to Dr. Houston's office for your appointment," Justin said off-handedly, as if he was just reminding Brian to buy milk at the store.

"Shit," Brian said softly, hoping Justin didn't hear, but knowing that wasn't the case.

"Yeah, shit is right. Why the fuck didn't you tell me about the appointment?" Justin turned from the counter and glared at Brian, the fury in his eyes evident.

Brian unconsciously went to the other side of the table but said softly, "It's just a follow up. No big deal."

Justin leaned against the counter and continued to glare at Brian. Justin dared, "Brian, look at me and tell me that again."

Brian was unable to do as Justin asked.

"You told me everything was okay, that the doctor didn't want to see you again. You fucking lied to me." Justin's eyes were getting moist again, but he was determined not to cry. "Why? Just tell me why?"

Brian shrugged, not answering Justin's question.

"Fuck, Brian. Is it serious? Have they found something?"

"No. They are still checking me out. Two months ago, my numbers were okay but last month they went up again."

Walking over to the table, Justin felt his anger release when he saw Brian's face; the fear he was unable to hide was just below the surface. Justin reached out to touch Brian's hand, squeezing it in support. "Okay. We'll find out more tomorrow."

Brian swallowed, the weight of the secret he'd been hiding from Justin lifted. Quietly, he said, "You can come with me, but it won't change anything, Justin. You're on the brink of a great career and I won't let you sacrifice your painting for this."

"But Br…"

"End of discussion." Brian grabbed Justin and pulled him into a hug, and rested his head just below his chin. He kissed the top of Justin's head and reminded him, "You're here to recharge your batteries and we're going to fuck every minute that we're able to. I'm not having you worry about some stupid medical test. You need to relax." Brian let go of Justin and pulled out his chair to sit down. "Let's finish dinner and then I've got some work to do."

"Okay. I can finish the sketch I started. I'm not working on specific pieces right now, but I need to think of some themes for Sam."

The next day in the doctor's office waiting room, neither of the men said anything. They tried to pretend this was a routine visit, but both feared the worst.

"Brian Kinney," the medical assistant called out, looking in the waiting room for recognition from the many people sitting there. Brian and Justin both stood up. Brian gave Justin a look that said i_you don't have to do this/i_, but Justin shook his head 'no' and followed Brian into the doctor's office. Sitting down, they waited for the doctor to arrive. Justin reached for Brian's hand, but Brian pulled back from the clasp.

Dr. Houston entered the room, giving both men a nod in acknowledgement and sat down behind his desk. Picking up Brian's file, he reviewed the information, laid it down on the table and looked at Brian.

"Brian, the results are back and the blood work is still elevated, but not seriously so. I want to keep an eye on your blood work."

"Do you have any idea what could be behind this, Doctor?" Justin asked, knowing Brian would not.

"Not really. We just want to keep a close eye on things. Blood work is a great way to tell what is going on in the body. When the numbers are elevated, there is usually something wrong, an infection perhaps, but sometimes it's elevated by nothing but stress. The human body is a complex machine and while we understand a lot of things, we unfortunately still don't know everything."

"Thank you for the explanation. When does Brian need to have more blood work done?"

"Let's do it again in a month. Until your blood work comes back normal for three months in a row, I'd say we need to test you monthly."

Both men shook their heads in understanding and the doctor left the room.

"Satisfied? Now let's not waste the rest of the day. I had Cynthia clear my calendar for today. What would you like to do?" Brian eyed Justin from head to toe, indicating what he would like to do.

"Actually, I thought we could go shopping. Sam has been after me to get some "decent" clothes. Seems that when I show up for the openings around town, he has noticed that I always wear the same outfit."

Laughing at Justin's statement, Brian placed his hand on Justin's lower back and led him out of the office and to the Corvette. "Shopping it is. I knew I liked Sam."

Brian was in his element; picking out clothing for Justin that would be appropriate for an up and coming artist without looking too ostentatious. After all, advertising was his forte and he was advertising his favorite commodity, Justin. After watching Justin try on clothing all afternoon, Brian had barely been able to keep his cock in his pants. After they purchased sufficient clothing, according to Brian's guidelines, they returned to the loft, where Brian fucked Justin the rest of the afternoon.

While Brian got dressed for work the next morning, Justin pretended to sleep while he hid under the pillow. Brian lifted the pillow off his face and kissed him. "I'm going to work. Don't forget you're meeting Michael at 10:00. Don't be late or he'll be sending a search party out for you."

"Mmh…" Justin pulled the pillow back over his head and burrowed into the bed.

Brian laughed and left the loft.

Justin's alarm went off at 9:00 and he groaned loudly, but shut it off and got out of bed. Walking to the bathroom, he squinted to ensure that he didn't run into anything on the way there, and reached into the shower to turn it on. After standing for a full five minutes, the water woke him up and he started washing his hair and body. He wished he'd gotten up with Brian so he could have enjoyed a morning blow job, but he was just too tired. Now he had to take care of things himself.

He dressed, set the loft alarm and walked down to Red Cape Comics. The ringing of the bell caused Michael to turn, and he smiled as he saw Justin walk in.

"I was beginning to wonder if you'd forgotten our meeting," he said as he teased Justin.

"I was really tired this morning." Justin made his way to the counter and sat on the extra stool Michael had near the counter. "Tell me your ideas for the new issue."

Michael walked into the back storeroom, grabbed a notebook from the table and brought it out to the front of the store. "I was thinking that Rage was missing JT and…"

"Michael. Rage is not Brian, and I'm not JT. The comic isn't a parallel of our lives." He frowned at Michael's desire to write storylines that mirrored Brian's and his struggles and triumphs. "What other ideas do you have?"

Michael flipped through a few pages and smiled as he read his idea. "I thought that Rage could become friends with the police as he fights crime."

"That could work. Let me see what I can come up with. I'll be back in a few weeks and we can look at the drawings."

"Sounds good. Our fans really like Rage and I'm glad you're still willing to draw him."

Justin picked up his messenger bag and placed the story ideas inside. "I'm meeting Daphne for coffee. I gotta run."

"Bye."

Justin walked to the bus stop and caught the bus across town. He wanted to meet with Daphne to discuss the latest update on Brian, and he didn't want anyone on Liberty Avenue overhearing the conversation. She was already inside when he arrived.

"Justin, I almost thought you stood me up. Couldn't Brian let you up out of bed?"

Justin leaned down to give her a kiss on the cheek and then placed his bag on the seat beside him. "I was meeting with Michael to talk about the next issue of Rage. Brian left early in the morning to go harass his art department." He looked at the menu on the table and then placed it back by the napkin dispenser. "So… how's school?"

"School's good. I have this really hard prof in my Anatomy Class but other than that, I can deal." She picked up her menu and quickly chose what she wanted to eat, and they signaled the waitress that they were ready. After placing their orders, Daphne asked, "How's Brian?"

"Great, as always."

"Justin, you're being evasive. You told me the last time you were here that he had some abnormal blood work. Has that cleared up?"

Justin played with the water glass and he hesitated a few moments before answering. "No," he said softly.

"What's going to happen?"

"I don't know, Daph. I'm terrified but he keeps brushing me off. I just couldn't live with myself if something happened to him and I was in New York instead of here." A tear started to form and Justin allowed it to fall down his face.

"Is… is the cancer back?"

"No. Dr. Houston keeps saying that the cancer markers are negative. That is good at least," Justin said, trying to sound positive and encouraging. "It's just that…"

"He told you this time. That's huge. He's not keeping it a secret." She took a bite of her eggs and waved her fork at Justin.

"True. I'm such a lesbian."

"No, you're not. You love your partner and worry about him. No one would call you a lesbian. Now enough talk about Brian. Tell me about your show. I was so mad that I couldn't go."

"The best part of the show was Brian fucking me in the bathroom before everyone got there." Justin blushed as he remembered their tryst.

"No!"

"Yes." He dug into his pancakes as if he hadn't eaten in days.

"What if someone had come in?"

"That's half the thrill, Daph. Public sex is very intoxicating." He smiled his infamous Taylor grin as he explained.

"If you say so. I'll never understand you two. I would think that when you have sex with your longtime partner, you'd want it to be a private moment." Her eyes had a dreamy look to them as if she were remembering some romantic moment in her past, or thinking of one she hoped to have in her future.

Justin recognized that look; it was one that he saw in the mirror when Brian and he made love. He could never tell Brian they were making love, because if he said something like that, Brian would probably not talk to him for the rest of the evening. "Sometimes we do want it private, but other times it's hot to know that other people are watching you."

"You are so kinky."

"Yeah, well. I learned from the master." Justin ate the rest of his pancakes.

"That you did." She finished her eggs and started eating her yogurt, but looked at her watch and said, "Sorry to cut this short, but I have to meet my study group. Some of us are still slaving away in school."

"Okay. Catch you later."

"Kiss Brian for me."

"I will." Justin grinned and then finished his milk before paying the bill and leaving the restaurant.

It was still early in the day, and Brian had informed him he had back-to-back meetings and wouldn't be available. He went back to the Loft and spent the rest of the day drawing and sleeping.

Brian came home about 8:30, and Justin was watching an anime cartoon. He kissed Justin and headed to the bedroom, where he stripped and walked into the bathroom to take a shower. Hearing the water turn on, Justin joined him. They enjoyed a quick round of sex and then ordered Thai food. They watched a rerun of Glee and then went to bed.

They followed a similar routine during the rest of the week. Each day, Justin went out for a little while to run errands or to see people, and in the afternoons, he came back to the Loft to paint. When Brian came home, they took a shower and then watched TV or Brian worked on a campaign. They enjoyed each other's company, and Justin recharged his batteries, just as Sam had suggested.

"Your next blood draw is around the 4th of July. Why don't you schedule your appointment with Dr. Houston on Friday so I can go with you?" Justin said as he packed his duffle, in preparation for his departure the next morning.

"You can't keep coming back here every month to go to the doctor with me. It's too disruptive. Since it's the holiday weekend, it makes sense for you to come home, but it's silly for you to try to work your visits around my doctor's appointments. Besides, Kinnetik still has the nice apartment in New York." Brian untied his tie, took off his suit, and draped them over the men's valet. Putting on his wife beater and jeans, he walked over to Justin and gave him a kiss on his neck. "I'm a big boy. I can go to the doctor all by myself. I don't need you here to hold my hand."

Justin shoved the last of his clothing into the bag and propped it against the wall. Justin felt his ire increase. "I'm your partner, Brian. Or is that only when I'm a convenient fuck?" he accused as he stepped away from Brian's kiss.

Brian sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose with his hand. "I don't want to argue with you. I can't stop you from coming home, and I know better than to think I can stop you from coming to the doctor with me. I'm just saying it's not necessary." He wrapped his arms around Justin's neck, squeezed lightly, and gave Justin several kisses on his sensitive nape. "I called in an order for Thai food on my way home. It should be here any minute. Let's say we eat and enjoy ourselves for your last night here."

Brian's kiss always relaxed Justin and today was no different. Turning around, Justin wrapped his arms around Brian's neck and gave him in an open mouth kiss, devouring his partner as if he were the one on the dinner menu instead of the Thai food. While they were kissing, the doorbell rang, announcing the arrival of their food. Brian paid the delivery guy and brought the food to the counter, where Justin dished it out into bowls. Playfully, they fed each other dinner and stole kisses among the bites.

After dinner they relaxed on the couch and watched TV, but spent the majority of time making out. Pretending to be tired, Justin yawned and announced that he was going to bed. Brian joined him, and they made love for several hours before they fell into exhausted sleep.

The next morning after mutual blow jobs in the shower, Justin put the coffee on for Brian while he heated up some water for hot chocolate. He toasted a bagel for himself and prepared it with cream cheese, then took a bite.

"Thanks for the coffee. I'm meeting the guys at the diner for breakfast, as usual." Brian hugged Justin and gave him a deep kiss goodbye and said, "Later."

"Later." Justin returned the familiar saying as he watched Brian leave the Loft. After finishing his bagel, he washed his plate and put it in the drainer. He grabbed his duffel bag and walked out the door and pulled it shut, and then set the alarm. He took a taxi to the airport and walked into the airport for the return home.

The flight was uneventful and he arrived home before noon. Missing Brian and the familiar routine he'd developed while in Pittsburgh, Justin dropped his bag by the door and sat on the couch to watch TV.

Sean came home about six and found Justin sitting on the couch, staring into space. The TV was turned to the public station and they were showing a tour of the Highlands in Scotland. "Hey man, you're back." Sean grabbed two beers from the refrigerator, handed one to Justin and kept one for himself. "How was your trip?"

Taking a draw from his beer, Justin sighed before answering. "The trip was great, but I'm worried about Brian. His test results are still not good and the doctor wants him to come back in a month. I just wish I was there with him; I'm so scared that something will happen while I'm here and he's there..."

Sean plopped down next to Justin on the couch. "We've gone over this. You can't be two places at once. There's no use in wishing you're here when you're in Pittsburgh, and wishing you were in Pittsburgh when you're here. It will just drive you crazy and then you're a mess." He finished his beer and got up to throw it away. "Another one?" he yelled from the kitchen.

"No. I'm good."

Sean grabbed another beer and a bag of sour cream and onion potato chips, and brought them to the living room. "Tomorrow you will walk to your studio, get out your brushes and paint some wonderful masterpieces. Tomorrow night, you will come home, clean up, call Brian and have great phone sex. Then you'll do it all over again the next day, and the next day."

Justin laughed at Sean's in-your-face statements, but he knew that was exactly how his life would be until he returned to Pittsburgh. "Let's watch some i_Madagascar Penguins/i_. I'm in the mood for some goofy TV and I love the animation on that show."

Picking up the TV remote, Sean found Nickelodeon and they watched the i_Penguins/i_ until it was time for Justin to call Brian.

TBC


	10. Chapter 10

_**Chapter 9**_

**17 Months Post-513**

Brian arrived at the diner for breakfast shortly after Michael, Ted and Emmett. They'd put in their order, but when Debbie saw his arrival, she came back over to get Brian's.

"Egg white omelet, wheat toast, no butter and coffee black," he ordered.

"Justin leave?" she asked solicitously, with the love of a mother understanding the missing of a loved one.

Glancing at the clock on the wall at the back of the diner, Brian shook his head yes. "Plane should be boarding now."

"It was great to see him. I wish he was living here. His smile lights up the place. There's always an empty spot in my heart when he's not around."

Michael glared at his mom, but she ignored his look.

"That bell is ringing pretty insistently, Deb. Shouldn't you go pick up your orders?" Ted commented since he knew that Brian was already missing Justin. He would most likely have a bear of a boss for a few days until Brian's routine returned to normal.

Debbie nodded as she answered, "Oh yeah. Those plates come up really fast." She scurried to the other part of the restaurant to pick up her orders and deliver them.

"Ben's got a faculty meeting tonight. Why don't I come over and we can order pizza and watch the i_Star Wars/i_ marathon on TNT?"

Brian shook his head. "No can do. I've got too much work to do with a couple of deadlines coming up."

"Some other time then."

"You just wouldn't believe the meeting I had yesterday. Mrs. Caldecott of Caldecott Industries, you know the big house on the hill off Pennsylvania Street. Anyway, she wants to have this party for her bridge club, and do you believe she wants me to put orchids and daisies together in the same bouquets. They're both beautiful flowers, but really they just do not go together." Emmett announced to no one in particular, but wanted to contribute to the conversation.

"I'm sure you'll set her straight, Emmy Lou," Brian said, tongue-in-cheek.

Emmett looked at his friend and smiled his toothy grin, happy that someone at the table listened to him. He was slightly taken aback that it was Brian, but then again, he knew Brian listened to most of the conversations his friends had.

"Are you and Blake ready for your trip next week?" Michael asked Ted as he was looking a little lost, unsure what to add to the conversation.

"Blake's not starting any groups this week so he is free to leave, and I've almost finished the contracts for the new campaigns," Ted said as he looked at Brian, letting him know that he planned on finishing his work and not leaving Kinnetik in a lurch. Ted salted his eggs and took a bite.

"Speaking of travel, we're planning a visit to Philadelphia next weekend. Hunter wants to see the college there. I never thought I would be taking my kid to see a college." He looked at Brian and then at Ted, the only members of the group who had completed college. He tried to judge their reaction, but neither seemed to have one.

"So your foundling is blowing the coop?" Brian took two packets of sugar and dumped them into his fresh coffee.

"Briannnnn. I'm so proud of him. He's really turned his life around. I can't believe that a few years ago he was living on the streets and…"

"I think it is wonderful what you and Ben did for Hunter," Emmett said as he poured syrup on his pancakes. "I have a hard enough time taking care of myself, let alone a teenager."

Brian didn't add any further comments; he was thankful that his friends were willing to fill the conversation with their trivial pursuits rather than talk about Justin.

After breakfast, Brian and Ted walked to Kinnetik.

"I've got those quarterly projections we need to go over. Should I bring them in this morning or do you want to see them in the afternoon?"

"This morning would be fine. I've got a few deadlines I need to meet and this way I'll be able to work uninterrupted."

"Okay, boss."

Ted and Brian started working on the projections, but Brian's cell rang two hours later.

Recognizing the ring, he picked it up immediately. "You're home?"

"Yeah. The flight attendant tried to hit on me again, but as usual I ignored him. He needs to get a life."

"He has good taste. Ted and I are in a meeting. Later."

"Later."

"I know it's hard having Justin so far away. If you ever want to hang out or…"

Brian glared at Ted. "Theodore…"

Ted didn't say anything more about Justin, but concentrated on going through the quarterly projections with Brian.

Brian completed his work with Ted and worked uninterrupted throughout the afternoon. Leaving at 7:30, he was bone tired and returned to the Loft. He heated up some leftover Thai and had a few shots of Beam while he watched the first i_Star Wars_/i movie that Michael had mentioned this morning.

As the credits rolled, his cell rang and he picked it up. "Hey."

"You sound tired. You okay?" Justin lay in his bed as he greeted his partner.

"Yeah. Long day. Some twat kept me from working most of last week and I have a shit load of deadlines to meet by next week," Brian answered, tongue-in-cheek.

"Said twat should be punished for keeping you from your work," Justin said playfully.

Brian moved to the bed and put his phone on speaker while he quickly got undressed, then lay down on the duvet. "Unfortunately he's 300 miles away, and while my dick is long, it isn't that long."

"True."

"I worked all day; what did you do?"

"Not a lot. I was feeling a little down when I got home so Sean and I watched a i_Madagascar Penguin_/i marathon tonight."

Grinning, Brian responded, "Only you would find cartoons a distraction."

"The animation is amazing. If my hand worked better, I would love to do some of that. It's always been an interest," Justin said matter-of-factly, with no pity in his voice.

Brian didn't respond to the comment as no words would change the facts, and they both knew that Justin had come to accept his limitations, or at least work with them. Instead, Brian whispered into the phone, "What are you wearing?"

"Nothing. I'm lying on top of the duvet, stroking my hard cock."

"Put some lotion on your hands."

Justin did as he was told. "Done," he said as he pushed the speaker phone button on his phone as well.

"Take your cock in your hands. Now rub it between them."

Brian could hear the short breaths Justin was taking as his arousal took over.

"Play with the head. Take your thumb and forefinger and run it up and down the shaft. That's my mouth sucking your beautiful cock. I taste your precum as it slips from your slit. You're moaning and I feel you arch into my mouth, eagerly trying to increase the friction. Take your other hand and play with your balls. Play with each of them individually. Roll them in your fingers as I suck your cock."

Justin did as Brian described: one hand was stroking his cock, circling the sensitive head as the other hand played with his balls, fingering the tightened flesh. "Briannnn," he called out as he felt the familiar tingling in his sack, announcing his impending orgasm.

"Faster. Increase the speed of your hand and take your other hand and circle your opening. Now push in with just your fingertip."

Justin's breaths were heavy now.

"Push in all the way with your finger and move it to the same rhythm that you're stroking that hard cock. That's it. Come for me. Come for me, Justin."

"Ahhhh. Briannnnnn. I lovvvvveee youuuuu," Justin screamed into the air as his orgasm washed over his body.

Justin lay on the bed for a few moments as his body recovered, then smiled as he felt his body relax for the first time since yesterday's morning blow job in the shower. He grabbed the towel he had laid on the bed and wiped himself clean.

"Thanks. Are you ready for me to return the favor?"

"No need. I'm done. Listening to your pants and moans got me off tonight."

"Oh. And I was looking forward to listening to you lose control," Justin teased.

"I do not lose control," Brian adamantly responded, knowing that Justin was just pushing his buttons. "I've got a shitload of work tomorrow. I better go for now. Later."

"Later," Justin returned the familiar greeting and hung up the phone._ iShit I already miss him and it hasn't even been 24 hours./i_

**18 Months Post-513**

The next few weeks passed just as Sean predicted. Justin got up, painted, visited galleries, talked to Sam, and each evening he came home to talk to Brian. They shared tidbits about their day and ended each call with hot phone sex. Justin missed Brian and Brian missed Justin, but it was something that neither man talked about, since at this point in time they couldn't be together.

Justin had completed two paintings in the last three weeks, and had preliminary sketches for three more. Sam made his weekly visits to Justin's studio and complimented him on his work. Three weeks later, he was very excited and showed up half an hour early for his weekly visit. After knocking on the door for five minutes, Justin finally recognized the noise as a knock and let him in.

"You're early today. Got plans for the weekend. Getting out of this hot, stinky, city? I know I'm counting the days until I return to Pittsburgh. It's still hot there, but nothing like the oppressive heat in this cement jungle." Justin placed the brush in the turpentine and walked over to the kitchen area to pour two cups of coffee, one for himself and one for the Sam.

"I just got off the phone with The Point Gallery. Elizabeth is an old friend of mine and she saw your work at the Forum. Impressed doesn't even begin to describe her glowing words. She wants you to do another show, not solo but with a well-known artist, almost equal billing. Her gallery is in the middle of Chelsea. This is such an excellent opportunity for you. You will go very far."

Sitting at the counter drinking his coffee, Justin took in Sam's enthusiastic words. Brian was going to be so proud of him. He couldn't wait to tell Brian, but decided he wanted to see his face and would wait until the weekend to tell him in person. "That's great. When is the show?"

"In the spring. Galleries like Elizabeth's have their calendars filled at least six months ahead. That should give you sufficient time to come up with all the pieces you need for the show, won't it?" Sam picked up his coffee, took a drink and smiled grandly at Justin. Walking over to Justin's latest canvas, he congratulated himself for seeing the raw talent in this young artist.

Counting on his fingers, Justin realized that the show would be six months away. "I have four pieces finished; how many does she want for a show?"

"Thirty would be good, with a few large canvases thrown into the mix. Six months should be enough time, correct?"

_iAs long as I can fit in short visits to Brian, I should be able to do it. That is, of course, as long as his health is okay./i_ "Sure, Sam. That shouldn't be a problem." Justin finished his coffee, placing both of their cups in the sink. Walking over to his canvas, he picked up a new brush, adding touches of color to the painting. Sam realized that the meeting was over and let himself out. Justin continued to paint for several hours until his hand gave out and his stomach growled.

TBC


	11. Chapter 11

_**Chapter 10**_

**18 Months Post-513**

After Brian unlocked the Loft door, he pushed it closed and tossed his case on to the white leather couch. Loosening his tie, he walked over to the liquor cart and poured himself a shot of Beam, drinking it quickly and then pouring another._ iWhat a fucking week. I'm so tired of the art department screwing up my boards and those little shits not listening to me. At least when Justin was an intern, he got my directions right. How the hell am I supposed to stay on deadline if nobody listens?/i _Unbuttoning his shirt, he threw it in the hamper and laid out his clothes on the valet stand. i_I need a shower./i_

The shower refreshed him, and he dressed in casual jeans and a wife beater before going to the kitchen to scrounge for food in the freezer. Locating a frozen meal that was obviously from Debbie's kitchen, he nuked it and dished some out to eat for dinner. As he finished the last bite of his meal, the phone rang.

"Hello."

"…Yes. I have the appointment written down on my calendar. I'll be there at 10:00."

_iShit! I can't believe it's been a month and the vampires want my blood again. That means that Justin will be hounding me again to come home. I miss the little shit and I need a good tight ass to stick my dick into./i_

**1 Week Later**

"Brian, there is a Dr. Houston's office on line two. Should I put them through?" Cynthia asked as she pushed the intercom connecting their offices.

"Yes," he answered, dreading the phone call. "Kinney."

"Mr. Kinney, Dr. Houston asked me to call you regarding your recent blood work. He'd like to make an appointment to meet with you."

Brian felt a cold chill go over his body as yet again it appeared to betray all his regimes. "When does he have an opening?"

"Are you free tomorrow at 2:00 or Thursday at 4:15?"

Looking at his calendar, he realized that tomorrow at 2:00 would be better since the anxiety of the appointment would definitely keep him awake. "Tomorrow is fine."

"We'll see you then. Have a good afternoon," the assistant cheerily said.

_iFuck you too bitch. I've got too much fucking work to take time off to deal with this shit./i_ Pressing down the intercom button, he announced to Cynthia, "Rearrange my schedule tomorrow afternoon. I have somewhere I need to be."

"Okay," Cynthia agreed without questioning her boss, but she was concerned due to the earlier phone call.

The next day, Brian sat in the waiting room of the doctor's office, unable to read or work and this frustrated him even more than the potential results of his test. He had campaigns to work on and he didn't have time for his body to be rebelling. Justin was coming in this weekend and he didn't want to have to tell him bad news.

"Brian Kinney," the assistant called out as she walked into the waiting room.

Brian walked toward the door and followed the assistant to the doctor's office. A feeling of déjà vu flowed over his body and he was angry at the memory.

"Brian, your blood work is not right again this month. Your white blood cells are elevated again. The stress level in your life is too high and your body is fighting it. I'd like to see you take it easy for a few weeks to give your body some time to heal."

"I don't have time to take a few weeks off, Doc. Isn't there some pill you could give me?"

"Brian, let's be frank here. While sometimes the numbers have been normal, you haven't had two months of tests in the normal range for almost a year. That's a hell of a long time. It could be a precursor to a heart attack."

Brian inhaled deeply when he heard the words 'heart attack'. "What are you exactly saying, Doc? I'm having heart problems…?"

Dr. Houston shook his head. "No. I'm not saying you're having heart problems, but a continued high white blood cell count in absence of other identifiers can be a sign that your heart is stressed. Regardless, elevated white blood cells mean there is inflammation, and chronic inflammation is hard on your body. Since you had a few months when your white blood cells were normal, I believe that you have periods of stress when your body is surging hormones and chemicals, and periods of time when you are more relaxed. You need to be more relaxed on a regular basis."

"Let me see if I understand you. The times when my white blood cell count is normal can be attributed to a stress free life." Brian inwardly laughed as he said the statement. His life was always stressful, with running a business and visiting New York to spend time with Justin; he was seldom relaxed.

"In a nutshell, yes. I would like you to take it easy for several weeks. Let's see if we can get your stress level down and let your body heal."

"I don't think you realize what my life is like. I own my own business, which is highly successful, especially for its age. In addition, I have a partner who is out of town and I travel to see him on a regular basis."

"Brian, if I remember correctly when you were first diagnosed with cancer, you had just started the business and your colleagues ran it just fine while you were going through radiation treatment."

"Yes."

"And your partner comes into town. Maybe you need to let him come here for the next few months. Traveling can be hard on the body. Things have got to change or your body will shut down. If you don't let it heal, the consequences could be dire."

"Shit! Can I at least work from home? I've got some important campaigns coming up."

"You'll probably work from home even if I tell you not to, therefore, let's just say no more than six hours of work a day. You should eat healthy, with lots of vegetables, some good protein and enough carbs to keep you going during the day. Keep the coffee and alcohol to a minimum as well."

"You're torturing me, Doc."

"Would you rather let your body heal itself or do you want to find yourself in the hospital recuperating from a heart attack?"

"It's that serious?"

"Yes, it is. Your body can take abuse for a while, but then it rebels and forces you to listen. It's telling you to slow down, Brian. Are you going to listen?

"Okay. I'll cut back." His mind immediately started thinking how he could rearrange things to limit the damage at work.

"Good. I want to see you here in one month. We'll check your blood and then we'll talk."

Brian walked mechanically back to his car, got in and drove without a destination. He'd been driving for 45 minutes when he turned off the highway and found himself on the street where Britin was located. He hadn't thought about the house for a while. It was a symbol of possibilities, things that were in the future and now he wasn't sure that future would ever exist.

He parked in the driveway and left the car door unlocked, something that he would never dream of doing in Pittsburgh. He fished the house keys out of his pocket and let himself into the mansion. Gone were the sheets that covered the furniture, and in their place was a home laid out as if its owner would return any moment. He walked around and noticed the little touches that the decorating company had installed: a picture, some coasters, a few throw pillows, things that added to the room without overwhelming the owner. They'd done well and he was glad that he'd chosen them over the firm that Ted wanted to use.

He walked up the stairs and viewed the master bedroom, smiling at the huge shower with its two shower heads and extra large space. i_Better to fuck Justin in./i_ He smiled again when he thought of Justin and imagined him here enjoying this room. He'd be all over the huge shower, but what he probably wouldn't stop talking about would be his new studio. Brian opened the door to the room, and the light poured in from the two sky lights and the late afternoon sun, which gave the room a special glow. The large picture windows allowed a view of the back yard and the meadow beyond. He could almost feel that he was hours away from the city, rather than a 45 minute drive. Justin would have plenty to draw from for inspiration.

Closing the door to the studio, he finished his tour of the home, gazing in satisfaction at the furnishings. He went to the bar area in the media room, found a glass and poured himself a shot of Beam. Taking his glass to the couch, he sat down and took in the magnificence of the room. He closed his eyes, envisioning Gus playing with his toy trucks in the living room, Justin with his ever present sketch pad sketching the young boy, and he would be at the far end of the room, working on some campaign as he stole glimpses of his two favorite people in the world.

i_Yes. This is what I want, and if that means slowing down at work just to placate some doctor about my blood, then so be it./i_ Brian rinsed the glass and turned it upside down to dry. He walked out the door and returned to his car, and then drove back to Pittsburgh and his other life._ iThis is where I want to be with Justin. I need to do this, for him and for me./i_

Brian went to the gym and worked out hard, and then met the guys for dinner at the diner.

"We're going to Woody's to shoot some pool after dinner. Want to join us?" Michael asked of his best friend.

_iTomorrow, I can start on the Brian Kinney health revision. Tonight, I can have one last fling./i _"I think there's a pool table with my name on it. Are you ready to get blown out of the water?"

Michael leaned over to hug his best friend. "Wow, that's great! You haven't been with us to Woody's in forever. Did you finally catch up at work?"

"I'm never caught up, Michael, but it sounds like a good idea. Shooting pool and creaming all of your asses is just what the doctor ordered." Brian picked up his check, placed a tip upon the table and paid for his dinner. The gang followed suit, and they walked to Woody's and shot pool for a few hours while they threw back a few drinks.

It was early, only 11 o'clock, but the fatigue Brian felt washing over his body was unmistakable. Finishing the game of pool against Michael and Ben, he paid his tab and excused himself, stating he had an early meeting. Ted gave him a quizzical look since he knew Brian's schedule, and there were no early meetings for the next day, but he didn't say a word. The rest of the group just accepted Brian's early retreat as that of a man who had to run his own business.

On his way home, his cell rang with Justin's ring tone. "Hey. You're calling early. Is everything okay?" Brian asked as he unlocked the Loft door and reset the alarm. He walked to the refrigerator and grabbed a bottle of water, and drank half of it while he was listening to Justin.

"I'm fine. I finished my fourth painting today; that's almost one a week; I'm right on schedule. My plane gets in tomorrow night at 7:30. Can you pick me up or do you have a meeting?"

Cursing himself for not remembering Justin's early arrival tomorrow, Brian casually responded, "I don't have any meetings, but I'm not sure I can pick you up at 7:30. I'll send the car service to the airport and you can take it back to the Loft. Order us something to eat and I should be home by 9:00. Liberty Air has a new campaign and the stupid shits in the art department can't seem to get the boards right. While it was a pain for you to be an intern, at least you listened and got the work done right the first time."

Justin smiled at the backhanded compliment but didn't say anything about it to Brian. He knew Brian was frustrated with his art department once again, and he wished that he could be there to assist him in times like this. "I can't believe it's been a month since we saw each other. Since I'm ahead of schedule, I didn't book my return flight until Monday night. We'll have a glorious four-day weekend to fuck, suck, and hang out."

_iShit! Shit! Shit! He's going to want to stay here and care for me. He's going to ream my ass, and not in a life affirming way. The fates are on his side, once again. I guess I'm going to have to tell him./i_ "So what are you wearing?" Thus, Brian side railed the conversation to a more pleasing activity.

Justin was a bundle of excitement when Brian walked through the door the next evening, eager to share his news but wanting to wait for the right time so he could see the look of pride in his partner's face. Inwardly he hoped that Brian would be in the mood to celebrate his success. When Brian was in a good mood, he often allowed Justin to top and Justin was always eager to take charge.

Brian sensed Justin's excitement but accredited it to his visit. After all, it had been almost five weeks since they'd been together, and that was a very long time for them. During dinner, Justin shared his news.

"Sam came to see me yesterday and told me that Elizabeth from the Point Gallery wants to have my work for a show, with equal billing for me and another artist." He practically bounced in the chair.

Brian grinned and pulled Justin in for a hug and a kiss on the lips. "Of course she does. Your work is exquisite. Congratulations, Justin." Brian inwardly sighed at the news. He knew when he told Justin of his own news that Justin would want to stay in Pittsburgh and ruin this golden opportunity. He had to figure out a way to stop that from happening. He let go of Justin and walked to the liquor cart. "When is the show? Tell me about the gallery. Who is the other artist? Have you seen their work? Do you think it will be complimentary to yours?"

Justin walked to the kitchen for a beer. "The show is in the spring, in March, I think. Sam hasn't gotten the exact dates yet. There was a two week window." He drank some beer before continuing. "The gallery is in Chelsea. It's close to three other galleries, but this one specializes in new artists. The other artist is a guy but Sam didn't give me his name. Sam assured me that his work will compliment mine and neither of us will overshadow the other's presentations." Justin beamed as he answered Brian's questions, thankful and happy that his partner showed such interest in his paintings. Justin eyed Brian from head to toe as he licked his lips in anticipation. "I I think we should celebrate and I know just the way," he said as he eyed Brian's crotch.

"And what would that be?"

Justin grinned, a mischievous smile on his face. "I was thinking that you should let me top. I've worked really hard for this and I deserve it." Justin walked over to where Brian stood, wrapped his arms around Brian's neck and kissed his neck, where he gently sucked in the sensitive skin.

Brian moaned as Justin licked and sucked his neck. "You do? Huh?"

Justin stopped kissing Brian for a few moments and gave him his famous Sunshine smile. "Yeah. You know you want it." Justin unbuttoned Brian's shirt as he ran his hands down his partner's chest.

"Hmm. Let me think," Brian teased as he brought Justin's mouth up to kiss it. "Well, I always say we should celebrate success and I guess this qualifies," Brian said as he helped Justin take off his shirt.

Justin explored Brian's chest, running his hands down the firm torso, stopping to play with the dusty nipples and then leaning down to tease the nipples into hard nubs. Justin knew exactly the areas of Brian's body that were sensitive and aroused him the most. Brian's body was a work of art as much as any canvas he painted. The perfect angles of his chest and chiseled features of his face were two of Justin's favorite areas to sketch. Touching Brian's nipples as he kissed him always made Brian hard, and Justin loved the feel of Brian's hard cock against his stomach as it pushed for more friction.

"Like that," he said in a husky voice as Brian ground into Justin. "Let's move this to the bedroom."

Lying naked on the bed, Brian placed the pillow under his hips as he lay on his stomach. Justin salivated at the sight in front of him. He loved Brian's back, the way the little dip at the base of his spine had small dimples and were one of Brian's most erogenous zones. Justin started at Brian's shoulders, massaging them, relaxing his partner. Brian sighed in contentment. Justin sat on Brian's ass, loving the way his balls touched the soft globes, adding another layer of stimulation.

Leaning down, he licked Brian's spine, starting at the base of his neck and scooting down until he reached the dimples above his ass. Spreading Brian's legs, he moved his mouth to his ass. He inhaled deeply, loving the unique smell of Brian. He loved rimming but never performed the act with anyone but Brian. The intimacy of kissing, licking and tasting an ass was saved for Brian alone. Remembering the first time Brian rimmed him, their first night together, made his cock leak precum. It was special that night and every time since then. He wondered if Brian rimmed other people and guessed that he probably didn't do it with many tricks. 'Get in and out with a maximum amount of pleasure and a minimum amount of bullshit' didn't lead to long sessions of foreplay. Brian had been an excellent teacher and he knew Brian loved it when he fucked him, although he would never admit it.

Justin licked down Brian's crack, twirling his tongue at his entrance for a few moments and moving down until he reached his ball sack. Taking one ball into his mouth, he sucked gently and then moved to pull the other ball into his mouth and repeated the action. Dropping the ball out of his mouth, he licked a return path along his perineum, stopping at his hole and then up to the top of his crack again.

Brian squirmed with pleasure as Justin's flat tongue licked him. Rubbing his dick against the sheets for added pleasure, Brian's only focus was on the hot fire Justin had ignited in his cock. Justin followed the same path several times until Brian was wet with his saliva. Justin pulled apart Brian's ass cheeks, sticking his tongue inside and tasting his favorite treat. Brian always smelled like the Dolce and Gabbana cologne he wore, but here, his scent was not covered by cologne. It was pure pheromones and musk and Justin lapped it up as if it were an elixir. In fact, it was one since he considered Brian his personal elixir in life. Brian made everything better, just by being himself.

"Justinnnnn," Brian pleaded, unwilling to take the slow torture for much longer. "Fuck me."

Justin slapped his ass and kept eating him out, not ready to finish his Kinney banquet just yet. Brian raised his ass enough for him to put a hand under his body and gripped his cock.

"Okay," Justin said as he pulled Brian's hand away. Taking out the lube, he pushed two fingers into Brian, stretching him carefully.

"Now!"

Justin removed his fingers and took his sheathed dick, pushing gently until it breached the first ring of tight muscle. The familiar hiss of pain coming from Brian deflated him a little, but when Brian pushed up into Justin, he felt his cock fill up again. Slowly thrusting in and out of the tight hole, he looked down at Brian's ass, watching as his hard cock pistoned in and out. He loved watching it disappear into Brian, his ass eagerly pulling Justin's cock inside the tight channel. He placed his hands on Brian's ass cheeks, pulling his hips to him as he thrust inside Brian. Brian reached down for his cock, pulling it in time to Justin's thrusts and this time Justin allowed it.

"Love you so much," Justin yelled as he felt his body racing for the finish. He thrust hard and deep several times and then felt the condom fill with his jizz.

"Justinnnnnn,' Brian yelled, as he too, reached orgasm.

Justin gently pulled out, tying off the condom and throwing it to the side of the bed. Lying on the bed next to Brian, he waited as his heart beat returned to normal.

Brian flipped over on his back and reached for Justin's hand, squeezing it tight. Both of them understood the unspoken words that were seldom said between the two men.

Justin stomach growled and he looked sheepishly over to Brian. "Thai?"

"Sure, but let's shower first. I'm sure they would rather not smell ass on your breath,"

"But I like the smell," Justin said as he licked around his mouth. "Mmmm. They should bottle this. It would sell like hot cakes."

"Uh no. I don't think eau de Kinney needs to be bottled. Some things are not meant to be shared," Brian said, answering Justin's earlier question. "Let's shower and then we'll feed the beast."

Dinner was good. They talked about Justin's show some more and Brian complained about the art department.

Saturday morning, Brian went to work out at the gym and Justin met his mom for a late breakfast. As Justin approached the table, Jennifer got up and greeted him with a hug.

"Hi Sweetheart. It's so good to see you. You look great." She sat down and handed him the menu that the waitress had left.

Justin looked at the menu, even though he knew he wanted a waffle.

"I have great news, Mom. I'm going to be part of an exhibit at the Point Gallery in Chelsea."

Jennifer smiled and anyone looking at her would know where Justin got his infamous grin. "That's wonderful, sweetheart. I'm so proud of you. When is it?" She took out her phone to place the date in her calendar.

"Sometime in March. Sam doesn't have the exact dates yet. I'm going to be showing with another artist and Sam assured me his work is well known." The waitress brought his waffle to the table and he made a big production of buttering it and pouring syrup on it.

"Let me know the dates as soon as possible. I can't wait to see your work." Jennifer drank a sip of coffee and tasted the eggs. "I'm so glad you gave New York a chance. You've come a long way in such a short time." She ate a few bites of her toast and then asked, "How's Brian?"

"Good." He didn't like lying to his mother, but he knew Brian would kill him if he thought Justin talked to her about his blood work. It was bad enough that Daphne knew, but he needed to have a confidante.

"I'm so glad that you two figured it out. Do you ever think you'll go through with the wedding?"

Justin frowned and ate a few bites before answering. "Mom. My life with Brian is private. Leave it. We're still together and that's what's important." Justin looked at her to see if she got his message, and was satisfied that she wouldn't ask any more questions. "How's the house selling business? You've been really busy lately."

Jennifer knew Justin well enough to understand that he didn't want to talk about Brian, but she felt a little unease from his answer. She would be patient, knowing he would talk when he was ready. She congratulated herself on still being able to talk to Justin. Many of her friends complained they rarely saw their adult children, much less knew what was going on in their lives. She was thankful that she had kept the lines of communication open with Justin.

"Business is a little slow, but it is beginning to pick up." She ate some additional toast and eggs. "You've become such a grown up, Justin. I'm so proud of you."

Justin shook his head in acceptance of the compliment and finished his waffle. He dug into his pants to pay for his meal, but Jennifer shook her head.

"You may be an adult but I'm still your mother. I invited you for breakfast and I'll pay."

"Okay." Justin got up from the table and leaned down to kiss his mom. "I've got to meet Michael to talk about Rage."

"Bye, Justin." Jennifer watched Justin leave the restaurant and was thankful that his life seemed to be moving in a positive direction.

Justin spent the early afternoon with Michael, reviewing the latest Rage sketches and then returned to the Loft to wait for Brian so they could go see Gus.

"Justin… I didn't know you were in town," Lindsay said as she opened the door for them.

"Dada! Justin! Can we play trucks? Mama bought me a new one cuz I was a big boy and didn't cry when the doctor gave me a shot," he announced proudly.

Brian looked at Lindsay for clarification. "Tetanus booster."

"Okay. Let's go play trucks." Gus led Brian into the living room, where they got on the floor to play trucks. Justin sat on the couch and watched while Lindsay brought tea from the kitchen.

"Your painting for the benefit was very good, Justin. New York seems to keep you inspired," Lindsay said as she handed Justin a glass of tea.

"It's great. In fact, I'm having a show with another artist at the Point Gallery in March."

"That's wonderful. I guess you'll be staying in New York for a while."

Justin smiled, although he inwardly seethed at her insinuation that she knew what was best for his career and life. "I'm excited about the opportunity to show my work."

Gus interrupted the conversation, "Justin, can you help me draw pretty pictures like you do? I want to show them to my friends."

Smiling, Justin said, "Of course. Go get your crayons and we'll make a picture."

"Another Picasso in training. Both my boys will be famous one day," Brian said, tongue-in-cheek as he got up to kiss Justin quickly on the lips.

Justin helped Gus draw a few pictures, and they hung them on the refrigerator. "When I was your age, my mom used to hang my pictures on the refrigerator too," Justin told Gus.

"So one day I'll be a painter like you."

"You've got a long time to decide if you want to be a painter," Brian told him as he was secretly thrilled that Gus wanted to be like Justin.

"It's time for us to go, Gus. Maybe next time I'm in town, we can draw again."

Gus walked over to Justin and gave him a big hug and then went to Brian to give him one as well. "Cool."

Saturday night, they went to Babylon and on Sunday, they ran errands and Justin picked up his new suit. Sunday evening, Brian put the finishing touches on his file for Liberty Air and completed some preliminary work on the Eyeconics holiday campaign, when he decided that it was time to tell Justin the truth. They'd been very busy all weekend and this was the first evening that they had no commitments. Brian saved his work and closed down his computer. He poured himself a shot of Beam and brought Justin a beer, then went to sit on the couch, and motioned for Justin to join him.

Justin put down his sketchpad and pencil and joined Brian on the couch as he willingly accepted the beer. "Hey. You look like someone took away your favorite toy," he remarked as he looked carefully at Brian's face. He gently touched Brian's cheek, feeling the five o'clock shadow.

"We need to talk," Brian said as he drank the shot down in one gulp.

Justin looked at Brian and saw the scrunched forehead and the telltale rubbing of the bridge of his nose. He was getting a headache, not a good sign as he usually got headaches when things were bothering him; Justin knew the weekend had been great and wondered what was bothering Brian.

"Hey," Justin responded as he moved closer to Brian, and leaned his forehead to touch Brian's. He gave Brian a smile that he hoped would convey his support for his partner.

"I had another doctor's appointment this week." Brian walked to the liquor cart and poured himself a second shot of whiskey. "My blood work is still not good, and Dr. Houston wants me take it easy for a few weeks. He wants me to work shorter hours and eat healthier."

Justin was silent as a million thoughts ran through his head_. i I could rent studio space here and be with Brian, and commute to New York. I can paint anywhere. I have a show scheduled; I've made it. There is no reason for me to be in New York. I'll fly back tomorrow and tell Sam that I need to be in Pittsburgh. Sam would understand, I'm sure./i_

"Don't even think about it, Justin. I know what you're thinking and I'm telling you this isn't going to happen." Brian took Justin's face in his hands and looked him straight in the eyes. "You are **not **staying here. You worked too long and too hard to get where you are. You've got a show coming up next year at an important gallery. I can't let you give that up for me." Brian kissed him.

"But, Brian… I can paint here and take the slides to New York. The show is scheduled. I made it." Justin kissed him back and tried to stay the tears that were in danger of falling.

"No! You will get on that plane tomorrow, and I will see you in four weeks. I won't let you do this."

Justin got up from the couch and went to the kitchen to grab another beer. "Damn you, Brian! Don't shut me out!"

"Justin. The doctor says that my white blood cells are elevated due to continued stress. He just wants me to take it easy so I can get them back to normal. He's not putting me in the hospital. Nothing is changing, I just need to slow down and live a less stressful life. Less stress includes you being in New York painting, not here being a mother hen." Brian kissed Justin quiet, not wanting him to voice their fears. Soon their bodies were seeking solace and comfort from each other, as only two people in love could do. They didn't speak of the issue for the remainder of the night.

Justin woke during the night and watched Brian sleep. He looked relaxed, no evidence of pain or illness. Maybe the doctor was right. Maybe all he needed was to slow down. As the sun started to come up, Justin rolled toward Brian, wrapped his arm around his waist and breathed in the smell of his partner. As he smelled the familiar scent, he allowed it to lull him into sleep.

In the morning, Justin left for the airport and Brian went to Kinnetik to delegate work.

TBC


	12. Chapter 12

_**Chapter 11**_

**18 Months Post-513**

Justin arrived in New York and returned to the apartment, where he dropped his bag by the door and went straight to the couch. He remained there the rest of the day, and Sean was surprised to see him there when he returned home that afternoon.

"Hey man, I'm surprised to see you here. I thought after spending four glorious days with your partner, you'd be holed up in your studio, designing great masterpieces."

"I don't know if I can do this, Sean. It's just too hard."

"What's too hard?" Sean said as he sat on the couch beside Justin. "I've seen your paintings and they are wonderful. You've got months before you need to be ready for your show."

Tears ran down Justin's cheeks as he allowed himself to cry uninhibited. "Brian went back to the doctor. The doctor says he has too much stress in his life and he needs to take it easy for awhile. He said the high level of stress could result in heart problems or… Brian says he can still work, but he has to slow down. He said he doesn't want me to stay there and give up this opportunity of a lifetime, but he doesn't understand that he's more of an opportunity than my painting will ever be."

Sean went to the bathroom and grabbed a box of Kleenex and gave them to Justin. Justin blew his nose and dried his eyes. "Thanks. I've just been sitting here all day, unable to do anything. Part of me wants to pack up my stuff and go back to Pittsburgh, and the other part of me wants to show Brian that I'm a man and paint up a storm in New York."

Sean leaned forward and gave Justin a big hug and Justin was thankful for the comfort that his friend provided. "Brian says he's fine. You need to listen to him. Come on. Pick up your bag, take it to your room and take a shower. Put on your clubbing clothes and we'll grab a bite to eat and go to John's Billiards to play some pool. Later, we'll go to Therapy and we'll light up the dance floor. Tomorrow you'll go to your studio, get out your brushes, mix up your palette and paint some wonderful pictures." Sean helped Justin off the couch and pushed him towards his bedroom. "I'm going to start the shower and I expect you to be in there in two minutes."

Justin obediently grabbed his bag and walked to his room, and then dropped the bag in the corner. He undressed, grabbed his robe and walked into the bathroom, as Sean requested. He made it to the shower, and he began to relax as the warm water rained down on his skin. Knowing that Sean was waiting for him pushed him to finish his shower and get dressed, but not in club clothes. He couldn't quite wrap his head around dancing at Therapy tonight. Sean waited patiently for him on the couch, and gave him a tentative smile when Justin came out of the bedroom.

Sean grabbed his cell phone, keys, and wallet and led the way for the evening. They stayed at John's and played pool for several hours, and Justin appeared to relax. Sean made sure that Justin had a few drinks and he kept the conversation light. When they got home at 11:00, Justin went to his room to call Brian on his cell phone.

"Hey," he said tentatively, not sure if Brian would be up to talking.

"Hey yourself. What did you do with your day?"

"Stared at the four walls until Sean came home, and then we went to John's and shot some pool, had a few drinks and now I'm talking to you." Justin lay on the bed but he wished he was in the Loft having this conversation rather than in New York.

"Twat. You can't get much painting done if you're staring at walls."

"I know, it's just…"

"Justin, I'm fine. Promise me you'll go to the studio tomorrow and work on your paintings."

"I will if you promise to take it easy."

"Blackmail doesn't become you, Sunshine, but I will follow the doc's advice."

"Do you think we can have phone sex?"

"There's something wrong with my blood, not my dick. It still works fine. Talk away."

"I love you, Brian."

"I thought you were going to talk dirty to me, not go lesbian on me," Brian teased.

"So… what are you wearing?" Justin asked in a sultry voice, and continued his seduction over the phone.

In the morning, Justin went to his studio, but all he could do was stare at the blank canvas. He went to the computer and tried to do some preliminary work on a few pictures, but he was blocked. Needing to wash clothes and clean the apartment, he went home for the day and completed his domestic chores. When Sean came home, Justin was cooking dinner.

"Smells good. I'm hungry. I don't think I ate lunch today." Sean laid his messenger bag on the couch and went to the kitchen to grab a beer. "I didn't think you'd be here since you haven't painted in almost a week."

"I know. I went to the studio this morning, but I couldn't paint; maybe tomorrow."

Justin had told him of the show in the spring, and Sean was just as proud of him as Brian was. He was proud to be Justin's mentor as everyone benefitted from having one. Remembering his own struggles as a budding artist, he tried to ease the transition for Justin, and encouraged him by exposing him to new experiences, going with him to gallery openings, and listening when Justin described his latest theme for a picture.

Sean remembered when his mentor and friend, Peter, did the same for him. Occasionally he met Peter for coffee or a walk in Central Park, but he always invited him to his gallery openings, and occasionally talked to him when he lacked inspiration. Justin was a brilliant painter, his use of color, form, and size unmatched in an artist so young. He hated to see Justin struggle and knew he was worried about his partner, Brian. Sean hated to see such talent wasted, and he knew by the look on Justin's face that he was having problems concentrating on his art. He was determined to keep encouraging Justin and hoped he would soon be painting again.

"Tomorrow it is. Let's eat and watch TV and then it will be time for you to call Brian."

"Okay. That will work. At least I will have your company."

They watched reruns of Power Puff girls and Justin went to his room at 11:00.

"Hey," Brian answered when he saw the caller ID.

"How was your day?" Justin asked.

"Fine. I went to Kinnetik and delegated tons of shit to Theodore and Cynthia. I went in at 9:00 and was home at 3:00."

"That's great." Justin let out a sigh of relief that Brian was following doctor's orders.

"I went to the gym and worked out, and fucked a guy in the steam room. He was hot!" Brian declared, using their familiar phrase for good sex.

Justin laughed. "Good for you. Sex is always a good endorphin release."

"Twat. Tell me about your day, dear?" Brian teased back, using the familiar joke.

"I went to the studio. I washed clothes and cooked dinner," Justin reported but failed to inform Brian that he did not paint anything.

"Good. So what are you wearing?"

And their ritual continued.

**19 Months Post-513**

Two weeks later, Justin was still unable to paint more than a few strokes on a canvas, and he had only completed half a drawing on the computer. He made a plane reservation for the weekend and felt his spirits lift for the first time in several weeks.

He picked up the phone and called his agent. "Hi Sam."

"Hi Justin. I can't wait to come over tomorrow and see your progress."

"About that… There really hasn't been any progress since your last visit."

"Why?"

"I went home to Pittsburgh and Brian… Well he's had some medical issues. I can't stop thinking about him. I need to be there. I can rent studio space and I'll be able to paint in Pittsburgh. I promise I'll have the pieces ready for the show."

"I don't care where you paint as long as you're ready. Six months may seem like a long time to prepare for a show, but there's a lot to do. Do you think you can come here at least once a month so I can see your progress?"

"I was going to Pittsburgh once a month, so sure, I can come here just as well."

"Okay. Good luck, Justin. I'll see you in a month."

Justin joined Sean at dinner at their favorite diner in the neighborhood. While they were waiting for their orders, Justin filled him in. "Sean, I'm going back to Pittsburgh this weekend. I can't work. I haven't painted anything since I've been back and I can't get ready for a show if I can't paint. I'm not sure how long I'll be gone, but it might be a while."

"Are you sure, Justin? I don't think Brian will be happy with you coming back so soon."

"I'm sure, Sean. I need to do this. If I can't paint then I'm no good to anyone."

"Okay."

Justin felt excited as he boarded the plane and he didn't mind the flight attendant's attempt to pick him up again. He hadn't told Brian about his return. He wanted to surprise him. His cock got hard thinking of their reunion. It was after 7 p.m. when Justin arrived at the Loft. He hoped he would be met with open arms, but he wasn't sure.

Brian looked up when he heard the door sliding open and said, "Justin… What the fuck?"

Justin dropped his bag by the door as he pulled it closed. He looked around, making sure that they were alone. When he saw Brian working at his desk, he walked over to Brian and hugged him. Letting go he said, "I'm here to take care of you." He kissed him on the lips. "I can't work, and I haven't painted anything since I left Pittsburgh two weeks ago." He looked at Brian's eyes when he said the last remark and saw his concern and thought his return might be accepted by Brian. "If I'm here, then I can at least cook for you and make sure you get the rest you need." He leaned down and touched foreheads with Brian, a favorite connection for both of them.

Brian leaned back in his chair and broke the connection. "No."

"No?" Justin was surprised at the vehemence that Brian said the word.

"I'm not an invalid, Justin. I'm a little run down and I'm handling it. I don't need you. You need to be in New York, painting and schmoozing."

"But Brian, I'm not doing anything in New York. I can't concentrate. I just stare at the four walls. I need to be here."

"I fucking said 'No'! What part of 'No' don't you understand? Now… get your duffle bag and go home." He walked toward the door. "Go home to New York. Go back to your life there. This is not your life. I'm not your life. Don't think that I can be your excuse for not painting. You're going through a dry spell. It happens. Deal with it." Brian opened the door and waited for Justin to pick up his bag and leave.

Justin tried to kiss Brian. He knew that actions spoke louder than words and he hoped his kiss would convince Brian to let him stay, but Brian backed away. He glared at Justin and motioned to the door again. Justin sighed, picked up his bag and walked out of the building. It was early and he called Daphne to pick him up. She arrived twenty minutes later.

"What are you going to do?" she asked as he placed his duffle on the back seat.

"I can't go back. I can't paint. I'll spend tomorrow visiting my mom and taking care of some stuff that I have been putting off for awhile. I can go to Sunday dinner at Deb's. I know he's been going there pretty regularly; it gives him a chance to see Gus and touch base with the guys. He won't say anything while we're there and then he'll take me home, fuck me and things will be fine."

"Are you sure?"

"It's my only option, Daph. I need to be sure he's okay. He's been honest with me this time. Not like before… when he had cancer. He wants me in his life."

"I hope you're right. I don't want to see you hurt again."

"Remember, I rewrote the Brian Kinney operating manual. Things will be fine."

Justin rang the bell late Sunday afternoon.

"Sunshine!" Debbie said as she engulfed him in a huge hug. "I didn't know you were in town. Where's Brian?" she asked as she looked around for his partner.

"He'll be here soon. I had some errands to run so I came on my own." He hated lying to Debbie, but he couldn't tell her the truth.

"Good. Why don't you help me finish in the kitchen before everybody shows up?" Debbie walked to the kitchen and Justin followed her. She handed him a cutting board, some peppers and a knife. He cut the peppers for the salad and then started shredding the lettuce.

"How long is your visit this time? I thought you could only come once a month and you were here a few weeks ago." Debbie put water into the large pot and turned the heat on under it.

Justin added the peppers to the salad and said, "I had some business that couldn't wait so I came back."

Debbie added some oregano and basil to the sauce she was cooking on the stove. "Well, I'm always glad to see you, Sunshine. And I'm sure Brian is happy too."

_iI hope you're right because he didn't seem too happy the other night/i_, Justin thought.

The girls were the first to arrive, and Gus went straight towards Justin. "Justin, can you come play ball with me? Daddy isn't here yet and no one else will play."

"Sure, Gus. Let's go." Justin was relieved to be occupied by Gus. It kept him from thinking of Brian's arrival. He played with Gus for 45 minutes, but then the little boy was tired and he wanted to go inside. Brian had just walked into the house, but Justin ignored the look Brian gave him and poured a glass of juice for Gus. The little boy drank the juice very quickly and placed the glass on the table, then looked around Debbie's living room, hoping to see his dad.

Gus saw Brian and ran to him. "Dada! Justin and me were playing ball outside. We played for a long time and then he got me some juice 'cause I was thirsty."

Brian hugged Gus and glared at Justin, but didn't say a word. Bending down to look Gus in the face, he told Gus to go get his back pack so they could play trucks. The two found a place on the floor and played, ignoring the rest of the family.

"Food's ready. Everybody to the table!" Debbie called.

Justin seated himself next to Brian, but Brian ignored him and talked to Gus and everyone else at the table. Since their relationship had its ups and downs and the family had been witness to many of them, no one thought twice of the silence.

When Brian made a move to leave, Justin grabbed his coat and walked to the door.

Brian turned around and said loud enough for everyone to hear "Leave me the fuck alone. Go back to New York where you belong and do not, I repeat, do not come back to the Loft. I do not need you here. I'm perfectly capable of taking care of myself. And… we are not some fucking hetero couple." He opened the door and slammed it shut before anyone could respond.

Everyone looked at Justin, waiting for an explanation, but he just shook his head, trying to stay the tears from falling. "I guess I better go," Justin said to no one in particular. He grabbed his coat and walked out of the house.

Lindsay looked at Debbie for answers but she just shrugged her shoulders. Everyone else just shook their heads in confusion as well. "I'm sure it's nothing. They'll be fine."

Taking Lindsay's word at face value, no one commented on the outburst. After helping Debbie clean up, Mel and Linds said their goodbyes.

Turning to Mel in the car, Lindsay said, "Do you think everything is okay with Brian? Maybe I need to go over there. He said something about being take care of. Do you think…?"

Mel shut off the radio and said, "No. Linds, they need to deal with this by themselves. If Brian wanted help, he would ask. Leave it."

"He won't ask for help. That's not his way. I really think…"

"Don't, Linds. Leave it."

"I could call…"

"Linds…" Mel said, the tightness in her lips forcing the words out.

"Okay. I'll see Brian on Tuesday. He promised to keep Gus for a few hours while I go to the doctor."

They drove in silence the rest of the way home. When Gus was getting ready for bed, he asked Lindsay, "Why did Daddy yell at Justin? He told him to go away. Will Justin be able to play with me again?"

"Daddy and Justin just had a fight. I'm sure Justin will come back to play with you again."

"Okay." Gus got into bed and burrowed under the covers. "Night, mommy. I love you."

"Night, lambskin. I love you too." She kissed him on the cheek and walked out of the room, hoping her words were true. Brian had never told anyone to leave and this frightened her.

TBC


	13. Chapter 13

_**Chapter 12**_

**19 Months Post 513**

As soon as Brian stepped into the Loft, he immediately walked to the liquor cart, poured himself a shot of Beam, drank it quickly, grabbed the bottle and took it to the couch. Sitting down, he reviewed the last few hours and wondered for at least the twentieth time how he had allowed Justin to push his buttons. He was supposed to be the one in charge, the person who never let anyone under his skin, yet the blond had succeeded in doing just that, in getting in his space, his life and making him care; be vulnerable. iDamn. Life wasn't supposed to be this complicated. _Where did his mantro go? "I don't believe in love. I believe in fucking. It's honest, it's efficient. You get in and out with a maximum of pleasure and a minimum of bullshit. Love is something that straight people tell themselves they're in so they can get laid. And then they end up hurting each other because it was all based on lies to begin with."_ _When did I start to care what Justin felt? The little shit has gone back to New York. Shit! This isn't over._ _We aren't over._/i

He picked up his phone, dialing the familiar number. "Mel, I need you to come over."

Mel bristled at his tone, wondering if this had anything to do with the outburst they heard this afternoon. "Asshole. It's 10:00 at night."

"I need your services," he demanded, rubbing the space between his eyes, trying to still the headache that was threatening to make his night even more miserable then it already was.

"You can make an appointment just like anyone else," knowing as the words came out that she would go, if only to placate Lindsay.

"This is a fucking emergency," he said, since in his mind he had to protect himself. Despite getting his ass chewed, he knew Justin wouldn't give up and he needed to be sure that Justin was protected from his family, that he could make decisions on his behalf.

"Is someone dying?" she asked, aggravated, knowing how everything was an emergency with Brian.

"No one is dying, but it… Shit! Will you just fucking come over?" He didn't want to go into the details, didn't feel that it was anyone's business but his. Of course, if Justin had accepted that, he wouldn't be making this fucking phone call.

"I'll be there in 30 minutes and this better be good, Kinney."

Brian took another swig of the Beam and then returned it to the liquor cart, knowing that being drunk when Melanie arrived would not bode well for his request. Sniffing himself, he decided to take a shower while he waited for her to show up. Reeking like cigarettes and sex would not bode well either. After he left Debbie's, he'd gone to Woody's and picked up a few tricks, hoping to relieve his anger. Unfortunately tricking did not bring relief; it only made him mad that Justin had not listened.

Turning on the water, he adjusted it to the warm temperature he enjoyed. Justin liked it hot and was always slightly pink when he got out of the shower. It made him even more appealing, the pink flush to his skin in slight incongruity to its alabaster color. Brian felt himself get hard thinking of Justin, his partner and whatever the fuck the blond was to him. i_Shit! Why is this all so fucking complicated? Justin should be worrying about his art, making the rounds in New York and meeting fabulous people, not harping on me like some little wife. Damn him and his stupid heterosexual visions of relationships./i _Brian finished his shower, not bothering to jerk off like he would normally do, too angry at Justin and the current situation to enjoy a quick release. i_Maybe I'll go to Babylon after Mel leaves./i_

Mel showed up and he let her into the loft and waved her to the island.

"Make it fast, asshole. I have an early morning in court and I need to get some sleep." She lay her briefcase on the island as she sat on one of the bar stools.

Brian walked into the kitchen and stood on the other side of the island. He really wanted a drink, but decided that he wouldn't piss Melanie off even more. "Did you file the Power of Attorney and Medical Proxy I had you write before Justin left for New York?"

"Of course. They are in your personal files at my office," she answered, angry at the insinuation that she didn't know how to perform even basic legal practices.

"Is there an alternate for either of those? Did I list anyone else in the papers?"

Glad he wasn't questioning her legal expertise, but wondering where the questions were originating, she said, "No, but usually you don't. Do you need to list an alternate? What the fuck is going on, Kinney?"

"None of your fucking business!" he replied tersely, his headache starting to come back in full force. He pinched the bridge of his nose and walked to the cabinet to get out some Tylenol. i_Shit! Even the fucking Tylenol reminds me of him. I remember the first night we met and he said he was allergic to Tylenol./i_

"Listen, jerk. If I'm going to be your lawyer and hold these fucking papers, I need to know what is going on in that scheming head of yours so I can advise you properly. Now why don't you fucking tell me what the hell is going on? I would like to leave at a decent hour." Mel's tired body was losing patience with Brian's evasive questions.

Brian went to the refrigerator grabbed a water and motioned to Melanie to see if she wanted one. Shaking her head in denial, he opened his water and took a deep drink of it. "I made Justin my Power of Attorney and Medical Proxy when we were going to get married. It made sense and he agreed. Some things have come up and I just need to be sure that he still is on the papers."

"Brian," Mel asked softly, recognizing that this was a very serious matter and needing to know the entire situation. "Is… Has…"

"Shit! Fuck no! Look, I just needed to make sure he still has the legal powers in case he needs to act on them."

"Yes. Now is that all you need? I could have answered that on the phone. I'm leaving." She picked up her briefcase and walked toward the door.

"Good," Brian answered her and watched as she left. He walked to the liquor cabinet, glad to have his preferred method of pain management available again.

_iI may have kicked his ass to the curb, but he still has my medical power of attorney. I can't have him giving up his career for me. Neither of us will ever forgive that. He would come to resent it and I would always wonder what he could have done with his career had he not been here./i_

Brian drank a few more shots of Beam and then returned the bottle to the cart. i_I'll be damned if Justin is called to make medical decisions about me because I failed to listen to Dr. Houston. I can take care of myself, take it easy when I need to and I know that I need to right now./i_ He undressed and went to bed where he slept a fitful sleep.

In the morning he returned to Kinnetik, where he worked his requisite six hours and left for the day. Going to the gym for a workout, he looked around for a good fuck but didn't find anybody that looked appealing. i_I'll head to Woody's after dinner. The boys will be there and there's always someone cruising me./i_ Later at Woody's, he found the guys playing pool just as he suspected.

"Brian," Michael said as he kissed him on the cheek. "Want to be my partner?"

"Sure. Rack 'em up."

They spent several hours playing pool against Ted and Blake. Brian took several tricks to the back room and enjoyed himself. At 11:00 he excused himself and went home.

Undressing and lying on the bed, he picked up his phone, waiting for it to ring. He dozed for half an hour and then looked at his phone again before realizing that it wasn't going to ring. Justin wasn't going to call. He'd made certain that he understood. i_Oh shit! What have I done?/i_ Turning off the light, he put his phone on the bedside table and went to sleep.

Brian slept poorly, tossing and turning all night, visions of Justin's face as he told him to go away flashing across his eyes. It was a relief when the alarm went off in the morning as it was an excuse to get out of bed and go to work. As he looked in the mirror to shave, he was surprised at the face looking back at him, one that no amount of French anti-aging cream could remedy. i_Damn! Get a life, Kinney. Justin will be just fine./i_

He wished he could bury himself in his work, but he promised he would take care of himself. Even though he'd thrown Justin out, he made the promise to himself and by proxy to Justin. Just because he wasn't seeing Justin didn't mean he didn't care. He'd thrown him out for his own good. i_The Kinney cliff. Shit! Shit! Shit! I fucking did what I said I wouldn't do… He knows that we are good, at least he should by now./i_

**21 Months Post-513**

Working his requisite six hours and hitting the gym at least four days a week, Brian was feeling pretty good after another month. When he went to the doctor, he was pleased with his blood work.

"Your numbers are good, Brian."

"Good."

"I want you to continue your rest for another month. If the numbers remain normal, then you can start working more, but you still have to cut back."

"Fuck. Another month of this shit. I'm way behind at work as it is."

"You'll be even more behind if you end up having a heart attack and then you won't be able to work for at least six weeks, and that means no work, not even from home."

"I hear you, Doc. I'll see you in a month." Brian shook his hand and exited the office. i_Shit, another month of this crap. At least Cynthia and Theodore are picking up the slack./i_

Brian returned to his office after the appointment, closing his door to the office for some privacy. It was almost noon and Justin would be painting in his studio, but Sean would probably still be at home. Picking up the phone, he dialed Sean's cell number.

"Hello."

"Hi Sean. It's Brian."

"I know who it is. I have caller ID. How were the results of your blood work?"

"Good. Doc says that the numbers were fine. I haven't heard that since before the cancer."

"That's good. What's next?" Sean asked, hoping Brian might have come to his senses.

"Doc says I need to continue working part time, and if next month comes back clean then I can go back to working full time."

"That's not what I was asking and you know it. Brian, what about Justin?"

"What about Justin? He's in New York, painting, where he should be."

"He misses you," Sean said, hoping to elicit a similar remark from Brian. "Brian, I said he misses you."

"He's being a lesbian."

"You miss him too or we wouldn't be having these weekly tête-à-têtes."

"I'm not important, he is."

"Anything you want me to pass on to him?" Sean asked hopefully.

"No. I have to go. Busy busy." Brian hung up the phone, looking sadly at it, wishing it would ring with Justin on the other end.

Sean closed his phone. i_Stubborn asshole. He cares about Justin so much and they both would avoid a lot of grief it they would just talk. I won't tell Justin that Brian calls every week, not now. He's finally accepting Brian's actions. Luckily, his painting is still wonderful. It's taken on an edge since he got back, but that is okay./i_

Sean promised Justin to meet him at the studio. His hand had been bothering him and Sean used the excuse of coming to see the work to get Justin away from his creations for a few hours, allowing his hand to rest.

After they ordered their sandwiches at the local deli, they found a small table outside. Drinking their sodas, they watched the summer crowd walk the streets.

"Wonder where all the people are going in such a hurry? It's the one thing that I find amusing about New York. Everybody seems to be in such a hurry; no one takes a leisurely stroll anywhere. Even people in Central Park seem to have urgency to them," Justin said as he sipped his Coke.

"You're right. Back home, we enjoyed a much more leisurely pace but I like it here. There's always something going on, something to do, or someone to see." Sean twirled his soda glass as he watched all the people on the street. "That's our number, our order is up. I'll go get it."

Sean returned with their orders. After a few bites of his sandwich, Justin asked, "How was your day?"

"It's fine. Fridays are usually pretty easy for me. Most galleries are setting up for weekend shows or preparing for the onslaught of patrons. They don't like to see new artists on Fridays so I'm free to shoot or goof off as I see fit."

"I used to love Fridays; it was the day that I would see Brian. I would count the days from when I came back from seeing him until I would see him again. Now I have nothing to look forward to."

"Don't be such a drama queen. You said yourself many times that Brian does what he thinks is best. Don't you think that throwing you out was just one of his moments?"

Justin thought for a moment before answering as he looked around, as if to see if anyone was watching and secretly listening. "Sometimes I think you're right, other times I'm not so sure. I don't think I've ever seen him quite so angry. When we were at the Loft and he told me to "get out", I could accept his decision, even though I didn't like it. However, when we were at Debbie's and he yelled at me, that was something totally different. Our relationship is private; he doesn't broadcast our difficulties. By being so open and yelling at me in front of everybody, he made the disagreement public. That's not like him and that's why I think maybe he doesn't want me around anymore." Justin's eyes welled with water, but he forced himself to blink back the tears.

Sean took another few bites of his sandwich, contemplating if he should reveal his weekly conversations with Brian, but decided that discretion was the better part of valor and kept quiet. He hated to see his friend in so much pain, but it wasn't his place to tell him of Brian's phone calls. Instead, he changed the subject to talk about the upcoming exhibit at MOMA they planned on seeing this weekend. Justin allowed the conversation topic to be changed, knowing that Sean was uncomfortable talking about Brian - there wasn't anything that Sean could do.

**22 Months Post-513**

Another month passed and both men attempted to put their pain aside; Brian spent endless hours watching animated cartoons and Yellow Submarine, sublimating his need for Justin in his life. Justin plotted ways that he could get Brian back in his life and rehearsed their reunion in his head. When the doctor gave Brian a clean bill of health for the second month in a row, he was elated, happy that his diligence paid off.

When Brian walked into his office after the doctor visit, he picked up his phone and started to push 'one' for Justin's phone, but stopped himself when he realized what he had almost done. i_Shit. I can't call Justin./i _Instead, he pushed the number seven for Sean.

"Hi Brian. I guess today was doctor day. How did it go?"

"Clean bill of health; I can now go back to my regular life."

"You going to let Justin know? I know he worries about you."

"No, I'm not going to tell Justin… yet. He needs to concentrate on his painting. I need to make sure that things continue to go well. While I can go back to work, the doc says I still can't burn the candle on both ends," Brian said calmly.

"You know he still misses you and would accept your apology. He'd be in your bed in a minute."

"No apologies. No regrets. I haven't changed my tune, Sean, and neither should he. Justin knew what to expect when we started; it hasn't changed."

"You guys are amazing, both stubborn and stupid at the same time. Swallow your damn pride, Brian, and apologize to Justin. Even if you don't want him back in your life, you owe him that."

Brian bristled at Sean's tone; however, he wouldn't back down. "Let me decide when and if I approach Justin."

"So you intend to come back?"

"I didn't say that. Don't put words in my mouth, Sean."

Finally realizing what Brian wasn't saying was just as important as his words, Sean stated, "You wouldn't be making these phone calls if you didn't care. Hopefully you won't wait too long to get back in his life. He might have moved on."

Sean's words were too close to the truth for Brian. "I've got to go. Busy busy."

Shawn flipped his phone closed._ iMission accomplished. Maybe the illustrious Brian Kinney will be making a visit to our sweet little city./i_

TBC


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter 13**

**23 Months Post-513**

Justin continued to paint, although some days it was difficult to get started. Several months after he left Pittsburgh, he'd finished a particularly difficult piece. As he stood back to look at the finished product, he flipped his phone to call Brian, but then remembered that they weren't speaking and called Sean instead.

"Hey."

"Hi. What's up? Everything ok? You don't usually call in the middle of the afternoon."

"I'm good. I just finished my painting and wanted to tell someone."

"Oh. Okay. Well that's great."

Justin looked at the painting and admired his work. "You know, Sean. I don't really know why I'm still doing this."

Sean put down the paper he'd been half-reading and gave Justin his full attention. "What do you mean?"

"I came to New York to make a name for myself, but I always thought I'd return to Pittsburgh and Brian when I was successful. But Brian threw me out."

"What has Brian throwing you out have to do with your success?"

Justin walked around the canvas, seeing it from different perspectives. "I wanted to show him I could do it, be the best homosexual I could be. I wanted him to be proud."

"But you're not here because of Brian," Sean reminded him.

"Not exactly. He pushed me to come here, to try, so I left Pittsburgh."

Sean paced the little room he was in, trying to stop himself from telling Justin the truth. Taking several deep breaths, he found his calm voice and said, "You're not a success because of Brian. You're a success because of your talent. Brian has nothing to do with it."

"Part of me knows that. I think that is why I'm trying so hard to paint these pieces for the exhibit. In the back of my mind, I'm hoping that Brian will magically show up and we'll talk and…"

"You are fucking amazing, Justin Taylor! The man threw you out of his home and told you to fuck off in front of your entire family, yet you'd welcome him with open arms if he walked into your show." Sean was gesturing wildly with his hands, even though no one could see his frustration.

"You don't understand. Brian does not do things spur of the moment. Every move, every conversation is thought out. He doesn't let things just happen."

"So, what he did in Pittsburgh, throwing you out doesn't matter."

"Oh, it matters. I won't crawl back to him. He will have to come to me. He made that abundantly clear. It would be a cold day in hell before I would step into his Loft unannounced."

"So what… you'll just always wait for him?"

Justin sighed, acknowledging the truth despite how lesbianic it sounded. "I guess. I'm hoping that I won't have to wait a long time. I miss him. This is just a little glitch in the Justin/Brian show."

"I will never understand you."

"Probably not. Only Brian really gets me and I get him. I'm onto him and he knows it. I'm painting in the hopes that this show will be spectacular, and even if he doesn't show for this one, maybe the next one or the one after that."

"Won't you miss your family?"

"I'll go back to Pittsburgh, just not go to the places that Brian would be. I respect the man enough to stay out of his way until he invites me back in."

"This conversation is giving me a headache. I'd like to see the painting. Can I come down to the studio?"

"Sure. I think I'm done for the day."

**b23 Months Post-513/b**

Sam made his weekly visit to Justin's studio, and Justin unveiled several new pieces that he completed in the last week.

"These are spectacular, Justin. I'm glad you came back to New York to paint. With each successive show, you're making great strides. I'm betting that your next show will be solo." He beamed as if he was the sole reason that Justin was a success.

"Thanks, Sam. Your support has been invaluable. I have a few pieces I still want to work on, but do you think I have enough?"

"I think what you have here is sufficient, but if you finish additional ones before the show, then we can pick the pieces you like the best."

"I'll finish this last canvas and then I'll start on the commissions."

"That will be perfect. I know Mrs. Sorkin is anxious to have your painting for her living room. All of Pittsburgh society will be envious."

"I hope you're right, Sam. How many people are we expecting at the opening? I'm still amazed that people are coming to see my work. I'm so used to going to other artists' openings. I'm so excited."

"We've sent invitations to at least 30 critics and twice that number of patrons. I'm hoping to have at least 75 people for the opening. That doesn't include your family. Are any of them coming for the show?"

"My mom is coming. Sean won't be there. He's leaving for Europe next week. I don't know if anyone else will be able to make it, being so close to the end of the school year. I hope a few of my "family" will be able to come," Justin said as he silently included Brian in that wish.

"I'll look forward to seeing them again. I'll see you next week. Keep working on the paintings."

**b23 Months Post-513/b**

Brian closed the door to his office and pulled out his phone, dialing '7' for Sean.

"Hello Brian."

"Hello. I bought my ticket today," he informed Sean.

"So you're coming."

"I told you when the time is right, I would. I keep my word."

"Okay."

"He needed to be away from me, not worrying about my health. He needed to be free to paint and create."

"So, you're just going to waltz back in and expect him to take you back?"

"He's free to do as he chooses. I'm not chasing him or forcing him. I'm proud of him. He's got his show and I want to see the artist that he's become. I knew he could do it and now he knows that he can too."

Sean sighed loudly. "You two deserve each other. He's not even really mad at you. He told me that he would wait for you."

"You told him," Brian seethed.

"No. He talks about you. In one of our conversations, he said that he hoped one day you would realize that he had made it, was a great artist and then you'd let him back in your life."

Brian heard Sean's words and smiled. Justin had understood Brian, but he knew there were things to work out. While Justin had understood, he was probably still mad and hurt by Brian.

"I'm planning on it. See you in a few weeks." Brian closed his phone.

When Brian got home from Kinnetik, his body thrummed with the excitement of seeing Justin again and visions of their hot reunion danced across his mind. i_Time to celebrate. In one month, I will be at Justin's opening and three hours later, I will be sticking my cock into his tight ass./i_

Dressing for Babylon, he was in a great mood. He had a few drinks before he arrived and tonight he was feeling on top of the world. Seeing Mikey and the gang at the bar, he greeted them with a large grin, ordering everyone drinks on him.

"You're in a great mood, Brian," Emmett observed at their friend's generosity. "I'll have a Cosmo," he said, turning to the bartender.

"Good to see you, Brian. You're looking well rested," Ben remarked as he eyed the man; the dark circles that had been very evident a few months ago were gone.

"Well, I must be off." Brian eyed a trick on the catwalk. "Later, boys."

"He seems happy. Maybe he and Justin are talking again. I know he misses him, even if he won't admit it," Ted remarked.

"It's about time," Emmett said as he looked around, hoping Brian had not made his way back to the bar.

Several hours passed before they saw Brian again.

"Hello, boys. Having a good evening?" Brian asked as he wrapped his arm around Michael's neck and nodded to Ted and Emmett.

"You're tweaked, Brian. What have you taken?" Michael asked as he looked into Brian's bloodshot eyes.

"A little E, some special K and a few drinks," Brian slightly slurred his words as his body swayed to the music. "Bartender, I need another drink. Give me a shot of Beam." Brian turned to the bartender, setting his glass on the bar as he pushed it to the man.

The bartender filled Brian's glass and he drank it down in one swallow.

"Another," Brian demanded.

The bartender filled Brian's glass a second time and Brian drank it quickly.

"I see someone I must do," Brian said as he eyed a muscular brunet on the dance floor. He turned and sauntered onto the floor, stopping in front of the tall brunet. His body danced to the music as he ran his hands up and down the man's torso and whispered in his ear, "Wanna go to the back room?"

His friends watched as once again Brian Kinney, Stud of Liberty Avenue, returned to his playground.

The End

Author's Note: This is the end of this story. If you would like to read about their reunion, it can be found in "Pain Management" - 1st chapter posted now


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